Leader’s guide · 11 weeks

Leader’s guide: The Secret of Guidance (For Teens)

F. B. Meyer

Back to the book

Using this guide with a class? See Ochorus for schools or homeschool families

This guide leads a group of teenagers, aged about 13 to 18, through “The Secret of Guidance (For Teens)” in eleven weeks, one chapter a week. F. B. Meyer, a London-born pastor whose life changed when he prayed, “I am not willing, but I am willing to be made willing,” wrote this short book for ordinary Christians with real questions: How do I know what God wants? Why do I feel far from him? What do I do with my worries? How do I survive sorrow? Teenagers facing choices about subjects, friends and the future ask exactly those questions, so the book suits a youth group, a homeschool or a small group well.

Each session takes about 30 to 40 minutes. Open by saying the memory verse together. Read the chapter, either aloud together or beforehand at home. Talk through the chapter’s three questions, which come with answers to help you lead. Do the activity, which takes about ten minutes. Close by praying the chapter’s prayer, or your own.

To prepare, read the chapter yourself and think about the real decisions your group is facing this term; the activities work best when they connect to those. Weeks 7 to 10 need particular care. Week 7 is about feeling low and week 9 about anxiety, and the teen edition says plainly that ongoing low mood, panic or thoughts of not wanting to live need a trusted adult or a doctor, not silence; repeat that clearly, know who your church or school’s pastoral contacts are, and follow your safeguarding policy if a teen tells you something worrying. Week 10 is about sorrow and suffering: some in your group may be grieving or living through family breakdown, so never ask anyone to share their pain aloud, and stress the chapter’s point that suffering is not God punishing us and that abuse or bullying is never God’s will.

Week 1 — Willing to Be Made Willing

We meet F. B. Meyer, who felt called to ministry at sixteen, became friends with D. L. Moody, and was changed when he saw the joy of young missionaries heading to China, including C. T. Studd. Meyer realised there was one area of his heart he had not handed to Jesus and could not, so he prayed, “I am not willing, but I am willing to be made willing,” and God answered; his preaching changed and he went on to write more than seventy books. The big idea: you don’t have to pretend to be surrendered; you can honestly ask God to make you willing.

“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” — Philippians 2:13 (KJV)

Memory verse

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Philippians 2:13

Talk together

  1. What did the young missionaries in Leicester show Meyer?

    Their joy showed him that he was missing something, because he had not given one area of his heart to Jesus.

  2. What prayer did Meyer pray?

    “I am not willing, but I am willing to be made willing.”

  3. What questions was The Secret of Guidance written to answer?

    How to know God’s will, why we feel far from him, what to do with worries, and how to survive sorrow.

Activity

The Questions We Ask

You will need: Sticky notes and pens

  1. Read out the four questions The Secret of Guidance was written to answer: How do I know what God wants? Why do I feel far from him? What do I do with my worries? How do I survive sorrow?
  2. Give everyone sticky notes and ask them to write, anonymously, any questions they have about God’s guidance or their future, one per note.
  3. Collect the notes, read some aloud without comment on who wrote them, and group them under Meyer’s four questions.
  4. Explain that the coming weeks will touch many of these, and invite everyone to pray Meyer’s prayer privately each day this week about one area they find hard to hand over.

Read chapter 1

Week 2 — God Promises to Guide

Meyer says much of our power and peace comes from knowing where God wants us and being there, reminding us that Israel’s manna fell only where the cloudy pillar rested. God guides in small things as well as big, because tiny moments can change the course of a life. For those who feel too slow to hear God, Meyer pictures a parent who takes the slower child on their knee and explains patiently. The big idea: God promises to guide us, and he comes down to where we are.

“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” — Psalm 32:8 (KJV)

Memory verse

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Psalm 32:8

Talk together

  1. What does Meyer mean by “The manna only falls where the cloudy pillar broods”?

    God provides for us when we are where he wants us to be.

  2. Why does Meyer say God must guide us in small things as well as big ones?

    Because big events often turn on tiny moments, as a pebble can change the flow of a stream.

  3. What picture does Meyer use to show God guides even people who feel slow?

    A parent who takes a slower child on their knee and explains patiently, loving them as much as the quick one.

Activity

Small Turns, Big Changes

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Ask everyone to think of a small moment that ended up changing something bigger in their life: a chance conversation, a club they tried, a seat they happened to take. Invite a few to share if they wish.
  2. Read Meyer’s picture of a pebble changing the flow of a stream, and discuss why God might care about small decisions as well as big ones.
  3. Read his words to “weary, perplexed and stupid children” and ask: why might this be comforting for someone who feels they never hear God clearly?
  4. Ask everyone to copy Psalm 32:8 onto a card to carry this week and read whenever they face a decision.

Read chapter 2

Week 3 — Check Your Motives

Meyer’s first step to guidance is pure motives: Jesus spoke of the “single” eye, and Meyer warns of “a spiritual squint,” where hidden wishes for praise or advantage pull us off course like iron near a ship’s compass. He does not ask us to be perfect, only honest, asking the Spirit to show our real motives. He suggests the aim Jesus had, to glorify God. The big idea: when our main aim is God’s glory, it becomes much easier to see which way is north.

“The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness.” — Luke 11:34 (KJV)

Memory verse

Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness.

Luke 11:34

Talk together

  1. What does Meyer call mixed motives?

    “A spiritual squint.”

  2. What picture does Meyer use for how selfish motives affect guidance?

    Iron on a ship pulling a compass needle away from north.

  3. What single aim does Meyer suggest for our lives?

    To glorify God, as Jesus did: “Glory to God in the highest.”

Activity

The Bent Compass

You will need: A compass and a metal object such as keys, or a phone compass app

  1. Show the compass pointing north, then bring the metal object close and watch the needle swing. (If no compass is available, describe Meyer’s picture of iron on a steamer.)
  2. Ask: what kinds of hidden motives can pull a teenager’s choices off course? List some together, such as impressing people, avoiding embarrassment or wanting to look successful.
  3. Ask each person to think of a decision they are facing and to write privately all their reasons, including the not-so-noble ones.
  4. Close by praying together: “Lord, give me a single eye. Help me want what brings you glory.”

Read chapter 3

Week 4 — A Yes in Your Will

Meyer’s second step is a surrendered will: Jesus said that whoever is willing to do God’s will shall know, but often there is “a secret controversy between our will and God’s.” He distinguishes a will that is extinguished from one that is surrendered, like a living willow twig that bends in a skilled hand, and pictures a boy on a steamer passing the captain’s orders on at once. His advice: “If you cannot give, let Him take.” The big idea: God does not crush our will; he asks it to say yes.

“If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” — John 7:17 (KJV)

Memory verse

If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority.

John 7:17

Talk together

  1. What does Meyer mean by “a secret controversy between our will and God’s”?

    Asking for God’s will while secretly hoping he will agree with what we have already decided.

  2. What is the difference between an extinguished will and a surrendered will?

    An extinguished will is crushed; a surrendered will is alive but says yes to God, like a willow twig bending in a skilled hand.

  3. What should you do if you aren’t willing to give something to God?

    Let him take it, and confess that you are willing to be made willing.

Activity

Robot or Willow?

You will need: Nothing

  1. Ask two volunteers to act out a short scene: one gives simple instructions while the other obeys like a robot, stiff and expressionless. Then repeat it with the second person obeying gladly, adding their own enthusiasm.
  2. Discuss: which picture is closer to what Meyer says God wants, an extinguished will or a surrendered one?
  3. Talk about the ‘secret controversy’: how can you tell if you are really asking God for his will, or hoping he will agree with yours?
  4. Ask everyone to pray privately before any decision this week: “Lord, I’m willing to do whatever you show me. And where I’m not willing, make me willing.”

Read chapter 4

Week 5 — Use Your Head, and Pray

Meyer’s third step is to gather information: God gave us minds and will not ignore them, so we should find out the facts, learn from others and read the Bible, where nearly every crisis is matched somewhere. Usually God guides through “sanctified common-sense,” as when the angel led Peter out of prison and then left him to find his own way. The fourth step is prayer, including asking God to shut any door that is not his will. The big idea: thinking carefully and praying are not opposites; they are how God usually guides.

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” — James 1:5 (KJV)

Memory verse

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

James 1:5

Talk together

  1. Why does Meyer say we should gather information for our minds?

    Because God gave us minds and uses them; he usually guides through careful thinking and sanctified common sense.

  2. What does the story of Peter and the angel teach about guidance?

    God does for us what we cannot do, then leaves us to use our own minds for what we can.

  3. What kind of prayer does Meyer suggest for big decisions?

    Asking God to shut the doors that are not his will.

Activity

Decision Workshop

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Choose one realistic made-up decision as a group, such as which subjects to take next year or whether to take on a weekend job.
  2. Split into small groups and give each a task: list the facts you would need, the wise people you could ask, and any Bible passages or principles that might help.
  3. Bring the lists together and ask: where does prayer fit in this process, at the start, the end or all the way through?
  4. Ask each person to choose privately one decision they face and make the same three lists for it this week, then pray James 1:5.

Read chapter 5

Week 6 — The Next Step

Meyer’s fifth step is to wait until three things agree: the Spirit’s impressions within, God’s Word, and the way circumstances unfold. He points to Israel told to stand still at the Red Sea, and to King Saul, whose impatience was “the great mistake of his life,” and gives a simple rule: “If you do not know what you ought to do, stand still until you do.” God promises to order our steps, not show us the whole map: “Not the next mile, but the next yard.” The big idea: you don’t need to see the whole future; trust God for the next step.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.” — Psalm 37:23 (KJV)

Memory verse

The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way.

Psalm 37:23

Talk together

  1. What three things does Meyer say should agree when God guides?

    The inner prompting of the Spirit, the Word of God, and the circumstances of providence.

  2. What is Meyer’s rule when you don’t know what to do?

    Stand still until you do.

  3. How much of the way does God usually show us?

    Not the next mile but the next yard; not the whole pattern but the next stitch.

Activity

Just the Next Stitch

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Ask everyone to write down privately one thing about the future they feel anxious or unsure about.
  2. Read Meyer’s line, “Not the next mile, but the next yard. Not the whole pattern, but the next stitch in the canvas.” Discuss why God might show us one step at a time.
  3. Under their worry, ask each person to write only the very next step they already know how to take, today or this week.
  4. Close by praying together: “Lord, I trust you for the step after this one.”

Read chapter 6

Week 7 — When the Joy Has Gone

Meyer writes for Christians who feel no joy, saying that “absence of joy does not always prove that the heart is wrong,” and that God met the exhausted Elijah “not with rebuke, but with food and sleep.” The teen edition adds clearly that ongoing low mood or thoughts of not wanting to live should be shared with a trusted adult or doctor. Meyer’s key point is that our standing in Jesus is like invested capital, while our feelings are like pocket money that comes and goes. The big idea: our feelings change like the weather, but our standing in Jesus does not.

“And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat.” — 1 Kings 19:5 (KJV)

Memory verse

And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.”

1 Kings 19:5

Talk together

  1. Does a lack of joy always mean something is wrong with your heart?

    No; Meyer says absence of joy does not always prove the heart is wrong.

  2. How did God treat Elijah when he was exhausted and wanted to die?

    Not with rebuke, but with food and sleep.

  3. What is the difference between our standing and our experience?

    Our experience, how we feel, changes constantly; our standing in Jesus never changes.

Activity

Body, Mind and Soul

You will need: A large sheet of paper, markers and a Bible

  1. Read 1 Kings 19:3–8 aloud and ask: what did God give Elijah first, and what did he not say to him?
  2. On the sheet, draw three columns, Body, Mind and Soul, and brainstorm together simple ways to care for each when life feels flat: sleep, food, fresh air, talking to someone, Scripture, prayer.
  3. Discuss Meyer’s picture of capital and pocket money, and what stays the same when feelings are low.
  4. Make sure everyone knows who they could talk to if a low feeling goes on: name a few trusted adults, the school counsellor, or a doctor, and invite anyone to speak to you privately afterwards.

Read chapter 7

Week 8 — Fact, Faith, Feeling

Meyer says fact, faith and feeling must come in that order: God’s facts are the foundation, faith rests on them, and feelings follow, at once or after days or months. The facts include God’s tender love, forgiveness through Jesus, and that whoever trusts Christ is God’s child, “a prodigal or inconsistent child,” perhaps, “but you are a child.” He tells of soldiers who kept hiding in the woods after the American Civil War had ended because they did not believe the peace was real. The big idea: God’s facts are true whether we feel them or not, so build on them first.

“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.” — John 1:12 (KJV)

Memory verse

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

John 1:12

Talk together

  1. What is the right order of fact, faith and feeling?

    God’s facts first, then our faith resting on them, then feelings as God gives them.

  2. What picture does Meyer use for God’s facts?

    Stepping stones firmly set across a stream.

  3. What does the story of the soldiers hiding in the woods teach?

    Not believing the good news doesn’t change it; it only keeps us miserable.

Activity

Building in Order

You will need: Paper cups or books for stacking, and a Bible

  1. Ask a volunteer to try to stack a tower starting from the top level, then from the bottom. Talk about why the order matters.
  2. Label three layers of a new tower Fact, Faith and Feeling, from the bottom up, and discuss what happens when people try to start with feeling.
  3. Read John 1:12, Romans 5:8 and Romans 8:1 aloud, and ask the group to name the fact each verse states.
  4. Ask everyone to write down three facts from these verses and read them each morning this week before checking how they feel.

Read chapter 8

Week 9 — Put Them in Christ’s Bag

Meyer describes the voice that lists everything that could go wrong before we are even awake, and says God promises strength “for all duties which He sets, but not for the burdens which we elect to take on as well.” His cure is to hand each worry over deliberately, putting it, as George Herbert said, “into Christ’s bag,” and he warns that our worried faces can make us “libels or Bibles” about God. The teen edition adds that overwhelming anxiety or panic should be talked about with a trusted adult or doctor. The big idea: God gives strength for today’s tasks, not for burdens he never asked us to carry.

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7 (KJV)

Memory verse

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

Talk together

  1. What voice does Meyer describe in the morning?

    A voice listing everything that will go wrong and telling us it will be a miserable day.

  2. What does God promise strength for, and what not?

    Strength for the duties he sets, but not for the extra burdens we choose to take on.

  3. What does Meyer mean by “libels or Bibles”?

    Our lives either give a false picture of God or show what he is really like, depending partly on how we carry our burdens.

Activity

Christ’s Bag

You will need: Paper, pens and a bag or box

  1. Read Meyer’s description of the morning voice and ask the group whether it sounds familiar.
  2. Ask everyone to write their current worries privately on small slips of paper, one per slip, then fold them so nobody can read them.
  3. Pass the bag around. As each person drops in their slips, they may silently pray, “Lord, I give you this.”
  4. Afterwards, collect the bag and dispose of the slips without reading them. Remind everyone that if worry ever becomes overwhelming, they should talk to a trusted adult as well.

Read chapter 9

Week 10 — When Life Hurts

Meyer writes for those in real pain, reminding them that Jesus walked this road first and urging, “Do not talk about punishment,” because all the punishment for our sins was laid on Jesus. He pictures God as a refiner watching the fire carefully, and the teen edition adds that abuse, bullying or cruelty are never God’s will and must be told to a trusted adult. Meyer’s comfort is to keep saying “Thou art with me” even without feeling it, and he says the comfort we receive can one day help others. The big idea: suffering is not God punishing us, and Jesus is with us in it.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” — Psalm 46:1 (KJV)

Memory verse

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Psalm 46:1

Talk together

  1. Why does Meyer say not to talk about punishment?

    Because all the punishment for our sins was laid on Jesus; God is not punishing his children.

  2. What picture does Meyer use for how God can use suffering?

    A refiner sitting by the furnace, controlling the heat and waiting to see his face reflected in the silver.

  3. What does Meyer say to repeat even when you don’t feel it?

    “Thou art with me.”

Activity

What Helps, What Doesn’t

You will need: A large sheet of paper, markers and a Bible

  1. Without asking anyone about their own experiences, draw two columns on the sheet: “Things people say that help” and “Things people say that don’t.”
  2. Brainstorm together what friends might say to someone who is grieving or going through something hard, and sort the ideas into the two columns.
  3. Read Meyer’s point that well-meant phrases like “time heals” can leave people feeling more alone, and discuss how to simply be with a hurting friend.
  4. Read Psalm 23:4 together and remind the group who they can talk to, including grief support, if they ever need it.

Read chapter 10

Week 11 — Christ in You

Meyer says Jesus does not only guide from outside but lives in us by his Spirit: “Christ in you, the hope of glory,” dwelling in believers “as a tenant in a house; as sap in the branch.” He mentions Brother Lawrence, who lived with a constant sense of God’s presence in ordinary work, and urges Christians to be filled with the Spirit like a full river. Days before he died in 1929, Meyer wrote, “We shall meet in the morning.” The big idea: the real secret of guidance is not a technique but a relationship with Jesus, who leads us from within, one step at a time.

“To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” — Colossians 1:27 (KJV)

Memory verse

To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Colossians 1:27

Talk together

  1. Where does Meyer say Jesus would point today if asked where he lives?

    Not to heaven or a grand building but to the happy spirit that loves, trusts and obeys him.

  2. How does Meyer describe Christians who have the Spirit only a little?

    As having him like an attenuated thread, a silver streak or a shallow brook, rather than a full river.

  3. What did Meyer write to a friend just before he died?

    “It may be that before this reaches you, I shall have entered the palace. Don’t trouble to write. We shall meet in the morning.”

Activity

Looking Back on the Way

You will need: Paper, pens and a Bible

  1. Ask everyone to look back over the eleven weeks and write down privately one idea from Meyer that has stayed with them.
  2. Invite volunteers to share their idea and why it mattered. Nobody has to.
  3. Read Revelation 3:20 aloud and discuss Meyer’s point that guidance is a relationship, not a technique.
  4. Ask each person to write a short prayer to use each morning this week, asking Jesus to fill them with his Spirit and guide their next step.

Read chapter 11