When Life Hurts

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” — Psalm 46:1 (KJV)

Meyer’s chapter on sorrow is written for people going through something really painful: a friendship or relationship that has ended, a family breaking up, illness, moving away, or someone they love dying.

First, he reminds us that we are not alone. Countless people have walked this road before us, including Jesus himself. He says Jesus “trod this difficult path, leaving traces of His blood on its flints.”

Second, he says something very important:

“Do not talk about punishment.”

When something bad happens, it is easy to think, “God must be punishing me.” Meyer says no. All the punishment for our sins was laid on Jesus. If God were still punishing us, it would mean Jesus’ suffering wasn’t enough.

Meyer believed God can use hard times like a refiner uses fire to purify silver. He pictures God sitting by the furnace, watching carefully, controlling the heat, never letting it go further than we can bear, and waiting to see his own face reflected in the silver.

But one thing needs saying clearly. Not everything that happens to us is God’s plan. If someone is hurting you, through abuse, bullying, or cruelty, that is never God’s will for you, and it is not something you should simply accept. Please tell a trusted adult.

Meyer’s most comforting advice is to keep reminding yourself that Jesus is with you, even when you don’t feel it: “Dare to repeat it often, though you do not feel it … ‘Thou art with me.’”

He says that friends often try to cheer us up with things like “time heals” or suggestions to keep busy, and sometimes that leaves us feeling more alone. But Jesus is closer than they are, “knowing each throb of pain”, waiting to comfort us like a mother comforting a tired, hurting child.

And one day, Meyer says, the comfort you receive will become something you can give to others who are hurting.

If you are grieving, it is good to talk about it. A parent, a youth leader, a school counsellor or a grief support service can help you through.

One thing to do this week: if you are going through something painful, say Psalm 23:4 to yourself several times a day this week: “Thou art with me.” And tell one trusted person how you are really feeling.