Leader’s guide · 13 weeks
Leader’s guide: The Practice of the Presence of God (For Teens)
Using this guide with a class? See Ochorus for schools or homeschool families
This guide takes your group through “The Practice of the Presence of God (For Teens)” in thirteen weeks, one chapter a week. It tells the story of Nicolas Herman, a clumsy former soldier and footman who became Brother Lawrence, the cook in a Paris monastery, and draws on his conversations and letters to show how anyone can live with God through an ordinary day. It is written for teens aged about 13 to 18 and suits a youth group, a homeschool or a small group.
Each session takes about 30 to 40 minutes. Open by saying the memory verse together (3 minutes). Read the chapter, either aloud together or beforehand at home (6–8 minutes). Talk through the chapter’s three questions, which come with answers to help you (10 minutes). Do the activity (10 minutes). Then close by praying the chapter’s prayer, or one of your own (2–3 minutes). Each chapter also ends with a practical step for the week; it’s worth asking at the start of the next session how it went.
To prepare, read the chapter and try its weekly practice yourself, so you can speak from experience. Two chapters need particular care. Chapter 4 describes years in which Lawrence was tormented by the fear that he was damned; some teens carry fears like that, or anxious and intrusive thoughts more generally, so take them seriously, follow the chapter’s own advice that no one should suffer alone, and be ready to involve parents, a pastor or professional help. Chapter 12 is about serious illness and Lawrence’s death, and may touch anyone who is ill or has lost someone; be gentle, and underline the chapter’s point that taking medicine and seeing a doctor go hand in hand with trusting God.
Week 1 — The Guy Who Broke Everything
Nicolas Herman was born around 1614 in Lorraine, was wounded as a soldier, and became a footman who called himself “a great awkward fellow who broke everything.” He later became Brother Lawrence, a lay brother in a Paris monastery, and a priest named Joseph de Beaufort wrote down their conversations from 1666 because people said this ordinary man lived close to God. The chapter introduces his lifelong habit: remembering that God is with you and talking to him all day long. The big idea: God isn’t waiting for us to become impressive; he looks at the heart.
“For man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” — 1 Samuel 16:7 (KJV)
Memory verse
For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7
Talk together
How did Brother Lawrence describe himself as a young footman?
As “a great awkward fellow who broke everything.” He was clumsy and not good at the job.
Who wrote down Brother Lawrence’s conversations, and when did the first one happen?
A visitor named Joseph de Beaufort, a priest. The first conversation was on 3 August 1666, when Lawrence was already an old man.
What does “the practice of the presence of God” mean?
Remembering that God is with you and talking to him all day long, in the middle of ordinary things, not only at special prayer times.
Activity
Outward or Heart?
You will need: Paper and pens
- Ask the group to list the things people their age are usually judged on, and write them down.
- Next to each, discuss whether it is “outward appearance” or “heart.”
- Read aloud Nicolas’s description of himself and ask why God might choose someone like that.
- Ask everyone to write privately the three things they feel worst at, then to pray over the list on their own this week as the chapter suggests.
Week 2 — A Tree in Winter
At eighteen, Nicolas looked at a bare tree in winter and realised that leaves, flowers and fruit would come back without anyone gluing them on. Through that ordinary moment he received a view of God’s providence and power that, more than forty years later, had never been rubbed out, and it set him loose from the world. The chapter says the whole world preaches about God’s care, and the question is whether we slow down to notice. The big idea: practising God’s presence begins with paying attention.
“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.” — Psalm 19:1 (KJV)
Memory verse
The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
Psalm 19:1
Talk together
What did Nicolas see when he was eighteen?
A tree in winter with no leaves, and he knew that soon the leaves, flowers and fruit would come back.
What did that tree show him about God?
It gave him “a high view of the Providence and Power of God”: how strong God is and how faithfully he cares for what he has made.
How long did that view of God last?
For the rest of his life. More than forty years later it had never been rubbed out, and he could not tell whether his love for God had even grown since, because it was so great from the start.
Activity
Ten Minutes of Looking
You will need: Nothing (or a window or a short walk outside)
- Ask everyone to put their phones away for the activity.
- Go outside, or to a window, and give each person two or three silent minutes to look properly at one ordinary thing.
- Come back together and let each person say what they looked at and one thing it showed them about God.
- Talk about what usually stops us from noticing, and agree on one way to slow down this week.
Week 3 — Disappointed in the Best Way
In 1640 Nicolas joined the Discalced Carmelites in Paris as a lay brother and took the name Brother Lawrence. He went in expecting to be made to smart for his awkwardness and faults, but, as Beaufort wrote, “God had disappointed him”: he found nothing but satisfaction, and later spoke of “perfect liberty and continual joy.” The chapter challenges the suspicion that following God properly makes life smaller and sadder. The big idea: closeness to God is not a punishment to put up with; it is the joy our hearts were made for.
“In thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” — Psalm 16:11 (KJV)
Memory verse
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11
Talk together
Why did Brother Lawrence expect to be unhappy in the monastery?
He thought he would be punished, or “made to smart,” for being clumsy and for his mistakes, and he was ready to give up life’s pleasures for God.
In what way did God “disappoint” him?
Instead of the hard, unhappy life he expected, he met “with nothing but satisfaction” there. He found joy.
What false idea about following God does this chapter challenge?
The idea that following God fully makes life smaller and sadder. Lawrence found that being near God was the place of real joy.
Activity
Smaller or Fuller?
You will need: A whiteboard or large sheet of paper
- Draw two columns: “What people think following God takes away” and “What following God actually gives.”
- Let the group fill the first column honestly.
- Then fill the second column together, using the chapter and the memory verse.
- Ask everyone to think privately of one thing they are afraid they would have to give up, and to tell God about it in a silent prayer.
Week 4 — Four Years of Fear
For years Brother Lawrence was convinced he would be damned, and he wrote that for the first ten years he suffered much and felt that everything was against him. He resolved that, whatever became of him, he would keep acting purely for the love of God, and in time he saw that his fear came from a lack of faith, found himself “changed all at once,” and felt a profound inward peace. The chapter urges readers not to suffer alone as he did, but to tell someone they trust. The big idea: holding on to God while the feelings are still bad is real faith, and his love casts out fear.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.” — 1 John 4:18 (KJV)
Memory verse
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1 John 4:18
Talk together
What fear troubled Brother Lawrence for years?
He was convinced he would be damned, and nobody could talk him out of it. In his letter he says he suffered much for the first ten years.
What did he decide to do while he was still afraid?
To keep acting purely for the love of God, whether he was lost or saved, so that at least he would have loved God with all he had until death.
How did the fear end?
He came to see that it came from a lack of faith, and then he was “changed all at once” into a deep inward peace, and lived after that in liberty and joy.
Activity
Who Can I Tell?
You will need: Index cards and pens
- Read Lawrence’s resolution aloud: “whatever becomes of me… I will always continue to act purely for the love of God.”
- Talk together about the difference between feelings and the truth about God, using the chapter.
- Point out that Lawrence “consulted nobody,” and ask why people keep fears to themselves.
- Ask each person to write privately, on a card to keep, the names of two people they could talk to if a fear about God, or any fear, kept coming back.
- Let the group know that you are one of those people, and when they can find you.
Week 5 — Too Many Methods
Brother Lawrence read many books full of methods and stages and found they puzzled him more than they helped. He resolved to “give the all for the all” and began to live “as if there was none but He and I in the world,” turning his mind back to God whenever it wandered, at prayer times and all day long. It was hard at first, but the repeated acts became a habit. The big idea: methods can help, but the one thing needed is God himself.
“Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful.” — Luke 10:41–42 (KJV)
Memory verse
Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.
Luke 10:41–42
Talk together
Why did all the books about prayer not help Brother Lawrence?
The many different methods puzzled him more than they helped, when all he wanted was to belong wholly to God.
What did he decide to do instead?
To “give the all for the all”: to give himself wholly to God, let go of everything that was not God, and live as if there was no one but God and him in the world.
Was it easy for him at first?
No. He says it caused him “no small pain,” but he kept going, gently bringing his mind back each time it wandered, until it became a habit.
Activity
Strip It Back
You will need: Paper and pens
- Ask the group to list every Christian habit, app, plan or method they have heard of or tried.
- Discuss which have genuinely helped and which became one more thing to feel behind on.
- Read Lawrence’s line “as if there was none but He and I in the world” and ask what it means in a busy life.
- Have each person write down one short prayer they could say anywhere, and agree to use only that all week.
Week 6 — The Kitchen He Couldn’t Stand
The monastery needed a cook, so Brother Lawrence cooked for about fifteen years, though he had a strong dislike of the work. He prayed before starting, talked to God as he worked, offered each task to him, and looked back honestly afterwards, giving thanks or asking forgiveness. People noticed his calm in the busiest moments, and he said he possessed God in the clatter of the kitchen as much as on his knees. The big idea: we don’t have to escape the noise to be with God; work done with him is never wasted.
“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.” — Colossians 3:23 (KJV)
Memory verse
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.
Colossians 3:23
Talk together
How did Brother Lawrence feel about working in the kitchen?
He naturally had “a great aversion” to it. He really disliked it, yet he did it for about fifteen years.
What did he do before, during and after his work?
Before, he asked God for grace to stay in his presence and to accept his work. During, he kept talking with God. After, he thanked God if it went well or asked forgiveness if not, and started again without discouragement.
What did he say about God’s presence in the noisy kitchen?
That in the noise and clatter, with several people calling for different things, he had God in as great peace as if he were on his knees at the sacrament.
Activity
My Kitchen
You will need: Paper and pens
- Ask each person to write down the task in their week they like least: a subject, a chore, a job.
- Read Lawrence’s kitchen prayer aloud, then have everyone rewrite it in their own words for their own task.
- In pairs, compare the prayers and talk about how doing the task “with God” might change it.
- Agree to pray the prayer before that task this week, and to report back next session.
Week 7 — A Straw from the Ground
Brother Lawrence was glad to pick up a straw from the ground for the love of God, because God “regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is performed.” He taught that holiness does not depend on changing our works but on doing for God’s sake what we normally do for ourselves. Later moved to mending sandals, he was content anywhere, and warned against growing weary of little things done for God. The big idea: small jobs done with great love are where faithfulness is learned.
“He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much.” — Luke 16:10 (KJV)
Memory verse
One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.
Luke 16:10
Talk together
Why was Brother Lawrence happy to pick up a straw from the ground?
Because he did it for the love of God. He believed God looks not at how big the work is but at the love with which it is done.
According to Lawrence, does becoming holy mean changing what we do?
Not mainly. He said it depends on doing for God’s sake the things we normally do for our own.
What job did he have later, and how did he feel about changing jobs?
He mended the community’s sandals. He was happy there, but just as ready to leave it, because he found joy anywhere by doing little things for the love of God.
Activity
Secret Straws
You will need: Paper and pens
- Ask the group to brainstorm small, unnoticed jobs they could do at home, at school or at church.
- Talk about why it is harder to be faithful when nobody is watching.
- Have each person write privately one small job a day they will do for someone else, for God, this week.
- Agree not to tell anyone what they did, only to tell God at the end of the week.
Week 8 — A Boat Full of Barrels
The monastery twice sent Brother Lawrence to buy its wine, a task he found very unwelcome, and on the boat to Burgundy his leg was so bad he had to roll over the barrels. He told God it was his business he was about, and found it all very well done. His habit was to say, “Lord, I cannot do this unless Thou enablest me,” and he received strength more than sufficient. The big idea: planning is doing what we can, but worrying is trying to carry what only God can.
“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” — Philippians 4:6 (KJV)
Memory verse
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6
Talk together
Why was the wine-buying trip hard for Brother Lawrence?
He had no gift for business, and his leg was so bad that he could only get around the boat by rolling himself over the barrels.
What did he say to God about the task?
That it was God’s business he was doing. He also used to pray, “Lord, I cannot do this unless Thou enablest me,” and found he received more than enough strength.
What is the difference between planning and worrying, from this chapter?
Planning is doing what you can to prepare, as Lawrence did in the kitchen. Worrying is trying to carry in advance what only God can carry.
Activity
Plan or Worry?
You will need: Paper and pens
- Have each person write privately one thing coming up that they are dreading.
- Under it, ask them to draw two columns: “What I can do to prepare” and “What only God can carry.”
- Let them fill in both columns, then invite anyone who wishes to share one practical step.
- Pray Lawrence’s prayer together: “Lord, I can’t do this unless you help me.”
Week 9 — When Your Mind Wanders
Someone wrote to Brother Lawrence about wandering thoughts in prayer, and he replied that this was nothing new; he had spent whole prayer times rejecting distractions and falling back into them. He advised keeping prayer simple, like a beggar waiting at a rich man’s gate, bringing the mind back calmly instead of getting upset, and turning to God often during the day so prayer becomes a continued conversation. The big idea: everyone’s mind wanders; the turning back is itself the prayer, and God is glad each time we return.
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” — Isaiah 26:3 (KJV)
Memory verse
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3
Talk together
What did Brother Lawrence tell his friend who struggled with wandering thoughts?
That it was nothing new and they were not the only one. Lawrence himself had spent many prayer times rejecting wandering thoughts and falling back into them.
What picture did he use for how to hold ourselves in prayer?
Like a beggar who cannot speak or move, waiting at a rich man’s gate: staying before God simply, without many words.
What should you do when you notice your mind has wandered, and how can the rest of your day help?
Calmly bring it back, because worry only distracts more. Thinking of God often through the day keeps the mind from wandering too far, which makes prayer easier.
Activity
Back to You
You will need: A timer or phone clock
- Explain that the group will spend three minutes in silent prayer together.
- Ask everyone to say silently “back to you, Lord” each time they notice their mind has wandered, and to keep a private count.
- Afterwards, ask how it went, without anyone needing to give their number.
- Read Lawrence’s advice about not getting troubled, and ask how calm returning differs from scolding yourself.
Week 10 — When You Blow It
When Brother Lawrence failed, he confessed it plainly, told God he would never do otherwise if left to himself, and then gave himself no further uneasiness about it. He was aware of his faults but not discouraged by them, expected pardon through the blood of Jesus Christ, and came back after times of forgetting God with even greater trust. He said that by rising after his falls he came to find it hard not to think of God. The big idea: the goal is not a perfect record but a quick return.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” — 1 John 1:9 (KJV)
Memory verse
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
Talk together
What did Brother Lawrence say to God when he failed?
“I shall never do otherwise, if You leave me to myself; it is You who must hinder my falling, and mend what is amiss.” Then he did not keep worrying about it.
How did he avoid both making excuses and spiralling into guilt?
He confessed his faults honestly without excusing them, expected forgiveness through the blood of Jesus without anxiety, and went straight back to loving God.
How did his habit of thinking about God grow, according to him?
By “rising after my falls” and renewing his faith and love again and again, until it became harder not to think of God than it had once been to start.
Activity
Excuse, Spiral or Return
You will need: Nothing
- Describe three responses to failure: making excuses, spiralling into guilt, and Lawrence’s quick return.
- Read out some everyday situations, such as losing your temper, lying to a parent, ignoring God for a month, and ask what each response would look like.
- Talk about why the quick return is not the same as taking sin lightly.
- Remind the group that if they hurt someone, the return includes putting it right with that person too.
Week 11 — A Prayer with a Sword in Hand
Brother Lawrence wrote about a young soldier with a good heart but “a great deal of youth,” who had no time for long prayers. His answer was that “a little lifting up of the heart suffices,” even on the march with a sword in hand, and that nobody will notice these quick prayers. He told friends to make “an oratory of our heart” and not to leave God alone, as it would be rude to leave a visiting friend. The big idea: praying without ceasing means a friendship with God that never really goes quiet.
“Pray without ceasing.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (KJV)
Memory verse
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing.
1 Thessalonians 5:16–17
Talk together
What did Brother Lawrence advise for the young soldier who had no time for long prayers?
That “a little lifting up of the heart suffices”: a quick remembrance of God or an act of inward worship, even on the march with a sword in hand, is a prayer God gladly accepts.
What does it mean to “make an oratory of our heart”?
To have a private place of prayer inside yourself, where you can turn to talk with God for a moment anywhere, without needing to be in church.
What picture did Lawrence use about leaving God alone?
He said it would be rude to leave a friend alone who came to visit you, so why neglect God, who is always near and with us?
Activity
Everyday Triggers
You will need: Paper and pens
- Ask the group to list the moments in a normal school day when nobody would notice a two-second prayer.
- Have each person choose three triggers, such as a doorway, a meal or picking up a phone.
- Ask them to write a short prayer for each trigger: “Thank you,” “Help me” or “I’m here.”
- Agree to try the triggers all week and compare notes next session.
Week 12 — Strength, Not Escape
Brother Lawrence’s last letters were to a seriously ill friend. Old and in pain himself, he prayed not only for relief but for strength and patience to bear it, believing God is often nearer in sickness than in health, and admitting that God sometimes hides himself. The chapter adds that his advice about medicines belongs to the 1600s, and that taking medicine and trusting God go together. Lawrence died in February 1691, a week after taking to his bed. The big idea: in suffering we can ask God for strength to go through it with him, not only to make it stop.
“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV)
Memory verse
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9
Talk together
What did Brother Lawrence pray for his sick friend, instead of just asking for the pain to stop?
He prayed that God would give his friend strength and patience to bear the pain as long as God pleased.
What did he say about God’s presence in sickness?
That God is often in some sense nearer to us, and more present with us, in sickness than in health.
How did Brother Lawrence die?
He wrote that he hoped to see God within a few days. Two days later he took to his bed, and he died within the week, in February 1691.
Activity
Pray Both Ways
You will need: Cards or paper and pens
- Ask each person to think of one person they know who is ill or suffering, without naming them aloud unless they want to.
- Have them write a short prayer for that person in two parts: one for relief, and one for strength and God’s closeness.
- Talk together about why Lawrence prayed the second kind, and why it is still right to pray the first.
- Encourage each person to send that person a short message this week to say they are thinking of them.
Week 13 — Let Us Begin
Brother Lawrence admitted he was always saying the same thing: think of God often, talk to him and trust him, because it was the best and easiest method he knew. He said it needs no art or science, only a heart set on God, and that the habit is built one small repetition at a time, warning that one does not become holy all at once. He ends with an invitation: “Let us begin, then… Have courage.” The big idea: you can begin today, in the middle of an ordinary life, with one generous resolution.
“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.” — James 4:8 (KJV)
Memory verse
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.
James 4:8
Talk together
Why did Brother Lawrence keep saying the same thing?
Because practising the presence of God was the best and easiest method he knew, so he used no other and advised everyone to do it.
What chain of questions did he use to explain why this habit matters?
We cannot pray without being with God; we cannot be with him without thinking of him often; and we cannot think of him often without forming a holy habit of it.
What did he say about an eager beginner who wanted to grow fast?
That she would “go faster than grace,” and that “one does not become holy all at once.” Growth with God takes time and patience.
Activity
One Generous Resolution
You will need: Paper and pens
- Ask the group to recall the habits from the book, such as the kitchen prayer, the straw from the ground and the everyday triggers, and list them.
- Have each person pick the one habit they most want to keep.
- Ask everyone to write themselves a short resolution beginning “God, I want to be with you today,” with the time of day they will say it.
- Close by reading Lawrence’s chain of questions aloud and praying for one another to begin.