A Friend Who Stays

“Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends.” — John 15:15 (KJV)

Friendships matter enormously when you are a teenager. They also change, and sometimes they end, in ways that really hurt. Thomas knew that every human friendship, however good, can let you down. So he points to a friend who won’t.

“Love Him, then; keep Him as a friend,” he writes of Jesus. “He will not leave you as others do.” And then:

“When Jesus is near, all is well and nothing seems difficult. When He is absent, all is hard.”

Thomas calls finding Jesus finding “a rare treasure, indeed, a good above every good.” He says something that sounds strange at first: the person who lives without Jesus “is the poorest of the poor,” and no one is so rich as the one who lives in his grace.

How do you keep that friendship? Thomas says: “It is a great art to know how to converse with Jesus, and great wisdom to know how to keep Him. Be humble and peaceful, and Jesus will be with you.” Like any friendship, it grows by spending time together and talking.

He also says something every lonely person needs to hear:

“You cannot live well without a friend, and if Jesus be not your friend above all else, you will be very sad and desolate.”

Does that mean other friends don’t matter? No. Thomas wrote in strong monastery language and sometimes sounds as if he wants you to have no close friends at all. But his main point is about order, not about loneliness. “Let all things be loved for the sake of Jesus, but Jesus for His own sake.” And in Book III: “Without Me friendship has no strength and cannot endure.” Friendships last best when they are not carrying the weight that only God can carry. When Jesus is your first friend, you can love your other friends better, and survive it if they let you down.

And when Jesus feels far away? Thomas doesn’t pretend that never happens. He says to wait calmly and trust, “for after winter comes summer, after night, the day, and after the storm, a great calm.”

One thing to do this week: talk to Jesus this week the way you would talk to a close friend: about your day, what worried you, what made you laugh. Do it out loud on a walk if that helps. Thank him for one friend in your life, and pray for them.