Words Are Just Words

“The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.” — Proverbs 29:25 (KJV)

What people say about you can feel like the most important thing in the world. A rumour, a comment, a group laughing at you, or just the sense that people don’t think much of you. Thomas has a lot to say about this, and much of it is in Book III, which is written as Christ speaking to a disciple.

His main point is short and freeing:

“Do not let your peace depend on the words of men. Their thinking well or badly of you does not make you different from what you are.”

Read that twice. Someone else’s opinion of you does not change who you are. Their praise doesn’t make you better and their criticism doesn’t make you worse. You are who you are before God.

Thomas also says it is impossible to please everyone. “Many men say many things, and therefore little faith is to be put in them. Likewise, it is impossible to satisfy all men.” Even the apostle Paul, who tried hard to serve everyone, was sometimes “judged and despised by others.” So he “committed all to God Who knows all things.”

Then comes a line that is almost funny:

“For what are words but words? They fly through the air but hurt not a stone.”

Of course words can hurt. Thomas knows that; his point is that they don’t have to have the final say. He asks: if every nasty thing imaginable were said about you, “Could it so much as pluck one hair from your head?” He who “neither cares to please men nor fears to displease them will enjoy great peace.”

There is an honest side too. If what people are saying is true, Thomas says, use it: “If you are guilty, consider how you would gladly amend.” Sometimes criticism stings because it is right. If it is false, bear it for God’s sake and leave the judging to him.

One important note: if someone is bullying you, threatening you, or spreading things that are hurting you badly, that is not something to carry quietly. Tell a parent, a teacher or another adult you trust. Thomas’s advice is about your inner peace, not about letting people treat you badly.

One thing to do this week: write down one thing someone has said about you that keeps going round your head. Ask honestly: is any of it true? If so, ask God to help you change. If not, pray, “God, you know the truth about me,” and let it go.