Chapter 14 · 2 min read · 3 min listen
A Gentle Answer
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” — Proverbs 15:1
Proverbs has a lot to say about words, the things we say to each other.
Here’s one of the most famous proverbs about words: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Wrath means anger.
Imagine a girl called Maya. Her little brother comes stomping into her room. “You took my pens!” he shouts. “You always take my things!”
Maya has a choice.
She could shout back: “I did NOT! You’re so annoying! Get out of my room!” And what do you think would happen next? He’d shout louder. She’d shout louder. Soon there would be a huge row, and somebody would end up in tears.
Or Maya could answer gently: “I didn’t take them, but I’ll help you look for them.”
What do you think would happen then? Probably her brother would calm down. The anger would fizzle out.
That’s what Proverbs means. A harsh word is like throwing petrol on a fire. It makes the anger blaze up even bigger. But a gentle answer is like throwing water on it. It helps put the fire out.
Proverbs has lots more to say about our words.
“Speaking rashly is like a piercing sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). Hasty, unkind words can hurt people deeply, like a sword. But kind, wise words can help them feel better.
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24). Kind words are like honey: sweet and good for you.
“Anxiety weighs down the heart of a man, but a good word cheers it up” (Proverbs 12:25). When someone is worried, a kind word can lift them up.
Our words are powerful. They can hurt or heal, start fights or stop them, make people sad or cheer them up. Every day, we choose which kind of words to use.
It’s not always easy to give a gentle answer, especially when someone is shouting at us. But we can ask God to help us.
Read it in your Bible: Proverbs 15:1; 12:18, 25; 16:24
Dear God, please help me to use my words to help people, not hurt them. When someone is angry with me, help me to give a gentle answer. Amen.
Talk about it together
Ask the questions first — then tap one for a note for grown-ups.
What does a gentle answer do, and what does a harsh word do?
A gentle answer turns away anger. A harsh word stirs up more anger.
What does Proverbs say kind words are like?
A honeycomb: sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Can you think of a time when someone’s words hurt you, or helped you? How could you use kind words this week?
Share stories together, then think of someone you could encourage with kind words, and how you could answer gently next time someone is cross.
Chapter 14 complete
A Gentle Answer