The Dark Thick Grove

“For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts.” — 2 Corinthians 4:6 (KJV)

On Sunday evening, 12 July 1739, David Brainerd, aged twenty-one, went for a walk alone in the same quiet place where he had been praying for days. He felt flat and empty. All his religious feelings had gone. He was trying to pray but felt, in his words, “very stupid and senseless.” He thought God had left him for good.

Then something happened that he spent the rest of his life trying to describe:

“As I was walking in a dark thick grove, unspeakable glory seemed to open to the view and apprehension of my soul.”

He is careful to say it wasn’t a vision or a bright light in the sky: “I do not mean any external brightness, for I saw no such thing.” It was something inside: “a new inward apprehension or view that I had of God, such as I never had before.” He suddenly saw how beautiful and good God is, so differently from anything he had imagined that he could only stand there. “I stood still, wondered, and admired!”

Notice when this happened. Not at his most religious moment, but at his emptiest. Not when he had finally felt sorry enough, but when he had given up trying. He wasn’t performing. He was just there, flat and honest, and God showed up.

What changed afterwards was not that he became perfect. Brainerd would struggle for the rest of his life. But the centre had shifted. Before, religion had been about him and his efforts. Now it was about God, whose glory he had glimpsed. He wrote that his soul “rejoiced with joy unspeakable, to see such a God, such a glorious divine Being.” He wanted God to be honoured, whatever happened to him.

Not everyone has a moment like Brainerd’s, and you don’t need one. Many Christians come to trust Jesus gradually, without a single dramatic evening. But his story shows something true for everyone: God is not won by effort. He makes himself known, often when we have run out of our own ideas. The Bible says that the God who first said “Let there be light” is the one who shines in our hearts.

If God feels far away right now, and you feel empty and flat, don’t give up. Keep turning up, honestly. That was exactly where Brainerd was standing when the light came.

One thing to do this week: find a quiet place outside this week, a park, a garden, a walk. Spend fifteen minutes there without your phone. Don’t try to make anything happen. Just tell God honestly how you feel, and ask him to show you what he is really like.