Friends and Fun

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” — Proverbs 13:20 (KJV)

Torrey has a chapter on friends. He says: “Our companions have a great deal to do with determining our character.” The people you spend most time with shape the air you breathe.

He encourages every young Christian to have “a few wisely chosen friends, intimate friends, with whom he can talk freely”, people about your own age who love God, pray, and want to grow.

He also says it’s fine to find some Christians easier to get on with than others. “God has made us in that way.”

But he doesn’t say you should only have Christian friends. We are to know people who don’t share our faith, and even people who are going the wrong way, so we can love them and point them to Christ. But he warns that we must always be seeking to lift them up, “or else they will be sure to drag us down.” If a friendship is consistently pulling you away from God, he says, give it up.

Torrey also writes about fun. He begins: “Young people need recreation.” Jesus enjoyed watching children play, and he went to a wedding party and made it better.

Rather than giving a list of banned activities, Torrey gives some questions to ask. If you have doubts about whether something is right, leave it alone. Can I do this to the glory of God? Will it hurt my influence for good with anyone? Can I pray about it and ask God’s blessing on it? Can I take Christ with me there?

Some of Torrey’s examples come from his own time and might seem dated now. But his questions are as useful as ever for a party invitation, a game, a film or an app.

And remember: these questions aren’t meant to make you anxious. Torrey said that the Christian life isn’t a life of endless rules but of a “trusting, glad, fear-free child” following the Holy Spirit.

One thing to do this week: this week, think about the three or four people you spend most time with. Is each friendship helping you grow, or pulling you away? Thank God for good friends, and ask him for wisdom about the others.