Where Am I Wrong?

The Christian soul yearns for joy, peace, and a closer walk with God, but this comes from recognizing that true contentment and light come from alignment with God’s will, not through mere emotions. It is best to acknowledge that while some naturally feel joyful, others carry a sad spirit, yet both can find peace in surrendering their will to God. This chapter explores how disobedience, unchecked sins, or excessive self-focus create barriers to experiencing God’s blessings. Through consistent communion with God, obedience, and reliance on Christ rather than feelings, believers are encouraged to find rest in God’s unchanging love.

This is your eager question, O Christian soul, and your bitter complaint. You see a light, a joy, a power in people you know. You envy it, which oppresses you. But, you should thank God for it. It's good to be dissatisfied with our low aspirations. It can lead us to seek a sweeter, nobler, and more triumphant life. The restless sleeper is near awakening. The morning light now shines around the bed, where he has slept too long. For, anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” (Ephesians 5:14).

We must, yet, remember that personalities differ. Some seem born in the dark, and carry a tendency to sadness with them through life. Their nature is set to a minor key and responds with ease to depression.

They always look on the dark side of things and in the bluest of skies discover the cloud no bigger than a man’s hand. Theirs is a dark path. Tiny sunbeams struggle to break through the thick, leafy canopy above. You may have such a temperament. If so, don't expect the same joy that others feel. And, don't complain if you don't feel it.

Your Savior’s hands made this burden for you. You must carry it for Him. Do not complain, show it to others, or let it master your spirit. Bear it silently, and glorify God through it all. But it may be impossible to win the joy of others. At least, there may be rest, victory, and peace. They are heaven's best gifts to man.

We must also remember that emotion is no true test of our spiritual state. A right heart often shows in a glad heart. So, good health usually shows in high spirits. But it is not always so. In other words, the absence of joy does not always prove that the heart is wrong. It may do so, but it will not always happen. The wilderness may have overtaxed Elijah's nervous system. After the long strain of Carmel and his flight, he lay on the sand and asked to die. God met that request, not with a rebuke, but with food and sleep.

The Lord has darkened your land. He wants to test if you love Him for Himself or for His gifts.

Perhaps, life has reached a Gethsemane. A Father's hand places a bitter cup to our lips, though only a Judas appears. We feel anguish in our struggle to renounce our will. It is only possible to lie upon the ground, with strong crying and tears, which the night wind bears to God. Under such circumstances as these, exuberant joy is out of place.

Sombre colours become the tried and suffering soul.

High spirits would be as unbecoming here as cheerfulness in the home shadowed by death. At such times, we should manifest patience, courage, and faith as the suitable graces. Yet, with all that, many of us are at fault. We are missing a blessedness that would make us radiant with the light of paradise. This loss is due to some flaw in our character. We should find and fix it.

You Do Not Distinguish Between Your Standing and Your Experience Our experiences are as fickle as April weather. Now sunshine, now cloud. Lights and shadows chase each other over miles of wild fields or a foamy sea. But our standing in Jesus changes not. It is like Himself—the same yesterday, today, and forever. It did not come from us. It came from His everlasting love. It, foreseeing all we would be, loved us despite it all. We have not purchased it, but His precious blood. It pleads for us with great strength and effectiveness when our faith is weak. It is not maintained by us, but by the Holy Spirit.

If we have fled to Jesus for salvation, we are one with Him forever. We have sheltered under Him, relying on and trusting Him, though with some doubts. We were one with Him in the grave; one with Him on Easter morning; one with Him when He sat down at God’s right hand. We are one with Him now. He stands in the light of His Father's smile. It's like a swimmer's limbs are one with his head. The sun's warm glory encircles the head alone. The waves hide the arms and legs. No doubt or depression can affect our acceptance with God through the blood of Jesus. That is an eternal fact.

You may not realize this. But, have your moods affected your standing in Jesus? A wealthy heiress's fortune could change with her spending money. Our standing in Jesus is our invested capital. Our emotions, at best, are like our spending money. It is always passing through our pocket or purse, never the same. Consider how you feel. Build on the rock of what Jesus is, has done, is doing, and will do for you, forever.

You Live Too Much in Your Feelings, Too Little in Your Will. We have no direct control over our feelings, but we have over our will. Our wills are ours, to make them God’s. God does not hold us responsible for what we feel, but for what we will. In His sight, we are not what we feel, but what we will. Let us not live in the summerhouse of emotion. Instead, let us live in the stronghold of the will, devoted to God's will.

At the Lord's Table, holy emotion often fills the soul. The tides rise high. Joy's powerful waves knock loudly against the floodgates. Every part of nature joins in a choral hymn of praise. But the next day comes. Life must be faced in the grimy counting house, the dingy shop, the noisy factory, and the godless workroom. The soul, comparing yesterday's joy with today's struggle, doubts its devotion to the Lord.

But, at such a time, how fair it is to remark that the will has not altered its position by a hair's breadth. And to look up and say: "My God, the spring tide of emotion has passed away like a summer brook. But in my heart, you know I am devoted and loyal.

I long to be only for You, as in that blessed moment at Your feet." This is an offering with which God is well pleased. And thus we may live a calm and peaceful life.

You Have Disobeyed Some Clear Command. A soul sometimes comes to its spiritual adviser, saying: "I have no joy, and little for years." “Did you once have it?”

“Yes, for some time after my conversion to God.”

"Are you aware that you disobeyed a specific command?

"It came into your life, but you shrank from it."

The face fell. Tears filled the eyes. The answer came, with difficulty: "Yes, years ago, I thought God required something of me. But I felt I could not do what He wished."

I was uneasy for some time about it, but after a while it seemed to fade from my mind, and now it does rarely trouble me.” "Ah, soul, that's where you went wrong. You will never get right until you go back through the weary years to where you dropped the thread of obedience. You must perform that one thing God demanded of you long ago. It is why you left the narrow path of blind obedience. Is this not the cause of depression for thousands of Christians? They are God’s children, but they are disobedient children.

The Bible rings with one long demand for obedience. The key phrase of the book of Deuteronomy is, “Observe and Do.”

The burden of Christ’s farewell discourse is, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” We must not question or reply, or excuse ourselves. We must not pick and choose our way. We must not take some commands and reject others. We must not believe that obedience elsewhere will make up for disobedience in one area. God gives one command at a time, borne in upon us, not in one way only, but in many; by this He tests us. If we obey in this, He will flood our souls with blessings and lead us forward into new paths and pastures. But if we refuse, we will remain stagnant and waterlogged. We will make no progress in our Christian experience and lack both power and joy.

You Are Permitting Some Known Evil When water stands, the particles of silt betray themselves as they fall one by one to the bottom. So if you are quiet, you may become aware of the presence in your soul of permitted evil. Dare to consider it. Do not avoid the sight like a bankrupt man avoids his ledgers, or a sick man avoids a stethoscope. Consider, in silence, any evil the Spirit of God finds in your soul. It may have lurked in the closets and cloisters of your being for years, suspected but unjudged. But whatever it is, and its history, it brings your daily sorrow.

Does your will you refuse to give up a practice or habit that is foreign to the will of God? Do you permit some secret sin to have its unhindered way in the house of your life? Do your affections roam unrestrained after forbidden objects? Do you cherish any resentment or hatred toward someone with whom you refuse to reconcile? Is there an injustice you won't forgive? A debt you won't pay? A wrong you won't confess?

Are you allowing in yourself something you would condemn in others? You justify it for certain reasons to silence your conscience.

Sometimes, the hindrance of bliss lies not in sins but in burdens that weigh on the soul. Sin is that which is always and everywhere wrong. A weight is anything that hinders the Christian life, but is not a sin. Thus, a thing may be a weight to one that is not so to another. Each must reach complete conviction in his own mind. If the soul knows that anything hinders its life, it must be cast aside. This is true, regardless of the harmlessness or innocent permission of that thing. You must discard it, like the garments of athletes who compete for a prize in wrestling or racing.

You Look Too Much Inward on Self, Instead of Outward on the Lord Jesus The healthiest people don't think about their health. The weak cause disease by overthinking. If you begin to count your heartbeats, you will disturb the rhythmic action of the heart. If you repeatedly imagine a pain anywhere, you will produce it. Some true children of God induce their own darkness by morbid self-scrutiny. They always go back on themselves. They analyze their motives. They rethink past acts of devotion. They compare themselves to themselves. In one form or another, the self is the pivot of their life, even if it is a religious life. What but darkness can result from such a course? At times in our lives, we must look within and check ourselves to avoid others judging us.

But this is only done so that we may turn with the fuller purpose of heart to the Lord. Once you complete it, you don’t need to repeat it.

“Leaving the things behind” is the only safe motto. The question is not if we did our best, but if we did as well as we could at the time. We must not waste our lives cleaning our windows, or in worrying if they are clean. We must enjoy God's blessed light. That light will soon show us what must be cleansed.

It will let us cleanse it with perfect accuracy. Our Lord Jesus is a perfect reservoir of everything the soul of man requires for a blessed and holy life.

To be healthy in soul, we must make much of Him. We must abide in Him, draw from Him, and receive each moment from His fullness. To care for self-more than for Him is like this: Spending much time on the body's senses, but never using them to sense the world outside.

Look unto Jesus. “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.” (Psalm 62:5).

You Spend Too Little Time in Communion with God through His Word Long prayers are not necessary. But it is essential to be alone with God. Wait at His door, hear His voice, and linger in Scripture for the Lord's coming at dawn or in the cool of the day. No meetings, no Christian friends, and no activity can replace the neglect of the still hour.

When you feel least inclined for it, there is most need to go into your closet with the door shut. Do for duty’s sake what you cannot do as a pleasure, and you will find it becomes delightful.

You can thrive without food. But you cannot find joy or strength in a Christian life without fellowship with God. When you cannot pray for yourself, begin to pray for others. When your desires fade, take the Bible. Turn each text into a petition. Or, recall your mercies. Then, translate each into praise.

When the Bible bores you, check your appetite. Have you spoiled it with sweets? If so, renounce them. The Word is the wire along which God's voice will come to you. But your heart must be still and your mind focused. “Let me hear what God the Lord will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints; but let them not turn back to folly.” (Psalm 85:8). More Christians than we can count are suffering from a lack of prayer and Bible study. No one desires a revival more than that of systematic private Bible study. No short and easy method of godliness can dispense with this.

You have never fully surrendered yourself to the authority of the Lord Jesus .

We are His by many ties and rights, but too few of us recognize His lordship. We are willing enough to take Him as Savior but hesitate to make Him King. We forget that God has exalted Him to be Prince, as well as Savior, and the divine order is irreversible.

Those who ignore the Lordship of Jesus cannot build a strong or happy life. Put the sun in its central throne, and all the motions of the planets assume a beautiful order. Put Jesus on the throne of your life, and all things fall into harmony and peace. Seek first the kingdom of God, and all things are yours.

Consecration is the indispensable condition of blessedness. So will light break on your path, such as has not shone there for many days. Yes, "Your sun shall no more go down, nor your moon withdraw. For the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of mourning shall end.” (Isaiah 60:20).