Talk Less

“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” — James 1:19 (KJV)

Thomas lived in a community of men who saw each other every day, and he knew exactly what happens when people spend a lot of time together. Talk. Lots of it. And not all of it good.

He was honest about his own record: “Many a time I wish that I had held my peace.” Then he asks a question that is uncomfortable for anyone who has been part of a group chat:

“Why, indeed, do we converse and gossip among ourselves when we so seldom part without a troubled conscience?”

His answer is perceptive. We talk so much, he says, because we want comfort from each other and want to rest our tired minds. So we keep circling back to the things we love and the things we can’t stand. But a lot of it is empty, and it crowds out the deeper comfort that comes from God.

Thomas is not saying never talk to anyone. He actually says that good conversation about God, with friends who share your faith, “is a great aid to spiritual progress.” And he gives a simple rule for when to open your mouth: “When the right and opportune moment comes for speaking, say something that will edify.” Edify means build up.

He also has strong words about curiosity: wanting to know everyone else’s business. In Book III, written as Christ speaking to the reader, he puts it like this:

“What is it to you if a man is such and such, if another does or says this or that? You will not have to answer for others, but you will have to give an account of yourself.”

That echoes something Jesus really said. When Peter asked what would happen to another disciple, Jesus answered, “What is that to thee? follow thou me.”

So much drama runs on other people’s business: who said what, who is with whom, who messed up. Thomas’s advice cuts through it. Most of that is not yours to carry. You are responsible for your own life before God. Look after that, and you will be surprised how much peace comes back.

One thing to do this week: for one week, before you join in talk about someone who isn’t there, ask yourself: “Does this build anyone up?” If not, change the subject or stay quiet. Notice how you feel at the end of the week.