Thoughts You Hate

“For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.” — Hebrews 4:15 (KJV)

Sibbes knew that some Christians are tormented by thoughts they don’t want: ugly, frightening or blasphemous thoughts about God, Jesus or the Bible that pop into their heads and won’t go away. People who struggle with this often feel terrible, as if having the thought proves they are wicked.

Sibbes describes these thoughts as being like “busy flies” that “disquiet and molest their peace.” He says you can often tell where they come from by how strange, strong and horrible they are. They are not what you want to think. They are thrown in from outside, “like wildfire”, by the enemy.

And then he gives a wonderful comparison from the story of Joseph. Joseph’s servant secretly put a silver cup in his brother Benjamin’s sack. When it was found, Benjamin looked guilty, but he had done nothing.

A godly person, he says, is no more guilty of such thoughts “than Benjamin of Joseph’s cup put into his sack.”

Having an unwanted thought is not the same as choosing it. The fact that it horrifies you shows where your heart really is.

What should you do with such thoughts? Sibbes’s advice is not to hide them in shame, but to take them to Jesus: “to complain unto Christ against them, and to fly under the wings of his protection, and to desire him to take our part against his and our enemy.”

He also reminds us that Jesus himself was tempted by Satan with terrible suggestions in the wilderness. Jesus knows what it is to have evil ideas pushed at him, and he did it, Sibbes says, so that he could help people in the same struggle.

Sibbes also talks about people who are troubled by constant worries that they have done something wrong, even about the best things they do. He says this often comes not from real guilt but from what he calls “sickness of fantasy”, and that such people are “the more to be pitied, for it is a heavy affliction.” He is gentle with them, not harsh.

Today we know that unwanted, intrusive thoughts are very common, and that for some people they become a real struggle, sometimes linked to anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If thoughts like these are constant, frightening, or push you to keep repeating things to feel safe, please tell a trusted adult or a doctor. That is not a lack of faith. Getting help is wise, and things can get much better.

One thing to do this week: if unwanted thoughts trouble you, try Sibbes’s advice this week: when one comes, don’t argue with it or panic. Simply say, “Jesus, I don’t want this. Take my side against it.” If it is a big struggle, choose one trusted adult to tell this week.