Is It Wrong to Be Angry?

The short answer: Not always. God Himself is angry at evil, and Jesus was angry more than once, so anger in itself isn’t a sin. But most of our anger is about ourselves, not about injustice, and even right anger can go wrong fast, which is why the Bible says, “Be angry, yet do not sin.”

Maybe someone told you that good Christians don’t get angry, so you squash it down until it explodes. Or maybe you’re the opposite: you’ve got a temper, and you’ve hurt people with it, and you wonder whether God is fed up with you. Either way, the Bible says more about anger than you might expect.

Two kinds of anger

Paul quotes an old psalm: “Be angry, yet do not sin.” Then he adds, “Do not let the sun set upon your anger, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26–27). Notice that it doesn’t say, “Never be angry.” It assumes you sometimes will be, and tells you what to do with it.

So there are two kinds. Righteous anger is anger at what is truly wrong: cruelty, injustice, someone weak being trampled. It’s a reflection of God’s own heart. God is angry at evil because He loves the people evil destroys. If you feel angry when you see a younger child being bullied or someone being cheated, that anger may be a good thing.

Sinful anger is mostly about me: I didn’t get my way, I was embarrassed, someone got in my way, my game was interrupted. James says, “man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:20). And even righteous anger can turn sinful when it becomes cruelty, revenge or a grudge you nurse for weeks.

Here’s a simple test: is my anger about God’s honour and other people’s good, or about my pride and my comfort? Be honest. Most of the time, for most of us, it’s the second.

Jesus was angry

When Jesus found the temple, the place of prayer, turned into a noisy market where poor worshippers were being exploited, “He made a whip out of cords and drove all from the temple courts” and “overturned their tables” (John 2:15). He said, “How dare you turn My Father’s house into a marketplace!” (John 2:16). Another time, when religious leaders cared more about rules than about a man with a withered hand, “Jesus looked around at them with anger and sorrow at their hardness of heart” (Mark 3:5).

Notice two things. First, Jesus’ anger was always for God and for others, never for His own wounded pride. When people insulted Him personally, He didn’t lash out. Second, His anger came with sorrow. It wasn’t a hot rush of hate. It was love, hurt by what it saw. That’s the shape of good anger.

Handling anger well

Whether your anger is right or wrong, here’s how to stop it doing damage.

• Slow down. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (James 1:19). Walk away, breathe, wait before you reply, especially online.
• Name it to God. “Be angry, yet do not sin; on your bed, search your heart and be still” (Psalm 4:4). Tell Him exactly what you feel and why.
• Deal with it before bed. Don’t let it sit and grow. Talk it out, sort it out, or hand it over.
• Use it for good. If something really is unjust, let anger push you to act well: speak up, report it, help the person being hurt.
• Say sorry when you blow it. If your temper has hurt someone, apologise without excuses. That’s what changed people do.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). That isn’t weakness. It’s strength under control: “he who controls his temper is greater than one who captures a city” (Proverbs 16:32).

When anger frightens you

Sometimes anger gets bigger than this. If your anger scares you, if you break things, hurt people, or feel you can’t control it, that’s a sign to get help, not to hide. Talk to a parent, a youth leader, a school counsellor or a doctor. Anger often has other feelings underneath, like hurt, fear or sadness, and people can help you untangle them.

And if someone else’s anger at home or at school frightens you, tell a trusted adult. You should never have to live afraid. If you ever think about hurting yourself or not wanting to be alive, tell a parent or trusted adult right away.

Think about it: Think about the last time you were really angry. Was it mostly about something wrong in the world, or something that bruised your pride?

Go deeper: Absolute Surrender (For Teens) by Andrew Murray — Murray compares temper to the hands of a clock, which show what’s happening inside, and says the cure isn’t trying harder to be nice but asking the Holy Spirit to fill you with love. Start with chapter 6, “What Your Temper Tells You”.