What We Say to Ourselves

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” — Philippians 4:8 (KJV)

Pascal noticed something about the voice in our heads long before anyone talked about “self-talk”:

“Man is so made that by continually telling him he is a fool he believes it, and by continually telling it to himself he makes himself believe it. For man holds an inward talk with his self alone, which it behoves him to regulate well.”

Think about the things you say to yourself in a day. “I’m so stupid.” “Nobody likes me.” “I always mess things up.” “I’ll never be good enough.” Pascal says that what you keep repeating, you end up believing.

So, he says, we need to “regulate” our inward talk. That means paying attention to it and choosing what we feed it. His advice is to talk to ourselves of God, “whom we know to be true”, and so convince ourselves of the truth.

This is not the same as just thinking positive thoughts. It is about telling yourself what is true. If you have done something wrong, it is true that you have sinned, and it is also true that Jesus forgives. If you feel worthless, it is true that you are made in God’s image and loved by him. The Bible gives us words to say to ourselves when our own words are cruel or false.

Pascal also saw something humbling about how we take criticism. He said we owe a great debt to those who point out our faults. It hurts, but it helps us grow. A true friend who tells you something hard is giving you a gift.

But notice the balance. Listening to honest, loving correction is different from soaking up constant put-downs from people who want to make you small. If someone keeps telling you that you are stupid or worthless, that is not correction. It is harm, and you should tell a trusted adult. And if the voice in your own head is relentlessly harsh and won’t stop, that is worth telling someone too. It is not a weakness to need help.

Paul’s words at the top of this chapter give us a filter for our thoughts: true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report. Run your inner talk through that filter. Is what you are saying to yourself true? Is it the way God talks about you?

One thing to do this week: write down three things you often say to yourself in your head. For each, ask: is this true? Is this how God sees me? Then write a true sentence to replace any that are false, and say it to yourself each morning.