Leader’s guide · 12 weeks
Leader’s guide: Mary Slessor (For Children)
Using this guide with a class? See Ochorus for schools or homeschool families
This guide walks a Sunday school class, homeschool group or family through “Mary Slessor (For Children)” in twelve weeks, one chapter a week. It is the true story of a poor Scottish factory girl who sailed to Calabar, in what is now Nigeria, lived among the Okoyong people, rescued twin babies and their mothers, and came to be called “Everybody’s Mother.” It works for a family around the table or a class of up to twenty, and is best for ages 8–12; younger children can join in if a grown-up sits close by.
Each session takes about 30 minutes. Welcome everyone and say the memory verse together (3 minutes). Read the chapter aloud (5–7 minutes). Talk together using the chapter’s three questions (5–10 minutes). Do the activity (10 minutes). Close by praying the chapter’s prayer, or one of your own (2 minutes).
To prepare, read the chapter yourself beforehand so nothing in it takes you by surprise, and have paper, pencils and crayons ready. The book is honest that Mary’s father drank too much, that twin babies were killed because of an old fear, and that many people Mary loved died, so read those parts calmly, answer questions simply and truthfully without adding detail, never ask anyone to talk about troubles at home in front of the group, and keep coming back to the book’s own point: God looked after Mary, made her brave, and used her to save many lives. Speak of the people of Calabar and Okoyong with the same respect the book does; they are Mary’s friends, helpers and church, not a backdrop.
Week 1 — A Wild Lassie
Mary is born in Aberdeen in 1848 to a gentle, praying mother who reads the Calabar mission news aloud, and little Mary’s pretend school pupils are always Africans. Her father drinks away the family’s money, and though Mary prays for him for years, he never changes; meanwhile the “wild lassie” comes to faith after an old widow speaks to some girls by her fire. Keep the father’s drinking brief and matter-of-fact, as the book does; some children may know this pain at home, so let the chapter’s own line stand (tell a grown-up you trust if you feel unsafe) and offer to talk privately afterwards. The big idea: God is a kind Father in heaven who never lets us down, and we can tell him everything.
“As a father is kind to his children, so the Lord is kind to those who love him.” — from Psalm 103
Memory verse
Like a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.
Psalm 103:13
Talk together
Where did Mary’s love for Calabar first come from?
From her mother, who followed every report from the mission in Calabar. The reports were read aloud at home and talked over.
What did Mary pray for, for many years?
She prayed for her father, who drank too much. He never changed, but Mary learned to trust her Father in heaven.
What would you like to tell your Father in heaven today?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that God is a kind Father who cares about everything that happens to us, even the hard things at home.
Activity
A Folded Prayer
You will need: Paper and crayons or pencils
- Give each child a sheet of paper and have them fold it in half like a card.
- On the front, have them draw Mary as a “wild lassie,” running and playing in Scotland.
- Explain that the inside is just between them and God: no one will look at it or ask about it.
- Inside, let them draw or write anything they would like to tell their Father in heaven, then fold it shut to take home.
- Say the memory verse together, holding the closed cards.
Pray
Dear God, thank you that you are my Father in heaven and that you are always kind to me. Please look after my family, and help me to tell you everything. Amen.
Week 2 — A Book on the Loom
At eleven Mary starts work at the Baxter Brothers factory, soon working twelve-hour days, becoming a skilled weaver, and reading a book propped on her loom; when her father dies in 1870, her wages keep the family going. She loves the Bible, gives her own copy away, and teaches rough boys in a poor part of Dundee, where a gang leader swings a lead weight round her head until it brushes her forehead, and she does not move. The big idea: being brave does not mean never feeling scared; Mary was afraid of crowds and even cows all her life, but God helped her stay put and do what was right.
“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” — from Psalm 119
Memory verse
Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path.
Psalm 119:105
Talk together
How did Mary find time to read when she worked such long days?
She propped a book open on her loom and read while she worked, and she read as she walked to work.
What happened when the gang leader swung the lead weight around Mary’s head?
She did not move, even when it brushed her forehead. At last he dropped it, said “She’s game, boys,” and the gang followed her into the meeting.
What is something that makes you feel scared?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that being brave does not mean never feeling afraid. God can help us do what is right even when we are scared.
Activity
Stay Put, Mary!
You will need: Nothing
- Have the children walk slowly around the room.
- Call out something that might make someone nervous, like “A big crowd!”, “A cow in the field!” or “Read aloud to the class!”
- When they hear it, everyone freezes, stands tall and says, “God helps me be brave!”
- After a few rounds, sit down and remind them that Mary felt scared too, but she stayed put. Say the memory verse together.
Pray
Dear God, thank you for the Bible, which shows me the way to go. When I feel scared, help me to be brave and do what is right. Amen.
Week 3 — “Pray for Me!”
Mary’s brother John, whom their mother hoped would be a missionary, dies in New Zealand, and a quiet thought grows in Mary: could she go to Africa in his place? Stirred by the news of David Livingstone’s death, she offers herself in 1875, a factory girl who had hardly been to school, and sails in 1876, grieved to see casks of strong drink loaded beside “only one missionary.” The big idea: we do not need to feel brave or clever to say “Here I am” to God; we only need to know that he loves us.
“Then I said, Here am I; send me.” — from Isaiah 6
Memory verse
I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then I said, Here am I; send me.
Isaiah 6:8
Talk together
Why did Mary first start thinking about going to Africa?
Her brother John, whom their mother hoped would be a missionary, died. Mary wondered whether she could go in his place.
What did Mary say when she saw the barrels of drink being loaded onto her ship?
“Scores of casks! And only one missionary!” She knew how much harm drink could do.
Where do you think God might want to send you, even somewhere small?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that we do not need to feel brave or clever to say “Here I am” to God. We only need to know that he loves us.
Activity
Here I Am Footprints
You will need: Paper and pencils or crayons
- Have each child stand on a sheet of paper while a partner draws around their shoe.
- Inside the footprint, have them write “Here I am. Send me!”
- Around the footprint, have them draw one small place God might send them this week: home, school, a friend’s house or a neighbour’s door.
- Line the footprints up across the floor like a path and say the memory verse together.
Pray
Dear God, thank you for loving me so much. Here I am. Please use me to help other people know you. Amen.
Week 4 — A Land Called Calabar
Mary arrives in Calabar in 1876, learns the Efik language by ear until visitors say she speaks it better than many Efik people, and once rings the bell for morning prayers at moonlight by mistake. At Old Town she meets the old fear of twins: the babies were killed and their mother driven away, though the Efik rulers had already agreed to ban it. Of one pair she rescued, the boy was taken and killed, but the girl, Atim Eso, lived and went to Scotland with Mary, where she was baptised Janie. Tell the twin custom in the book’s own simple words, with no detail, and say plainly that it came from a fear and that many people there wanted it to end. The big idea: God never forgets any child, not even one everyone else turns away.
“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.” — from Psalm 27
Memory verse
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
Psalm 27:10
Talk together
What funny mistake did Mary make with the morning bell?
She woke up to a room full of light and rang the bell for morning prayers, but it was only the moon!
Why were twin babies in danger in Calabar?
People believed that the birth of twins meant something terrible had happened, so the babies were killed and their mother was driven away, even though the rulers had agreed to ban it.
How can you be kind to someone who is left out?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that God never forgets any child, and he wants us to take care of people others turn away from, just as Mary took up baby Janie.
Activity
God Never Forgets Your Name
You will need: Nothing
- Sit together in a circle.
- Start by turning to the child on your left and saying, “God never forgets [name].”
- Have that child turn to their left and say the same, until every name has been said.
- Go round again in a whisper, then say the memory verse together.
- Ask who might feel left out at school or church, and how the group could make them feel remembered.
Pray
Dear God, thank you that you never forget me. Please look after children who have no one to love them, and help me to be kind to them. Amen.
Week 5 — Stranded and Alone
Back in Scotland, Mary cares for baby Janie and her family, moving her sick sister and mother to Topsham, and her mother gives her back to God, saying, “When He needs you and where He sends you, there I would have you be.” Soon after Mary returns to Calabar in 1885, her mother dies, and then her sister Janie; Mary leads the prayer meeting that night and tells no one. Her house fills with rescued children again, including a baby whose mother had died. Some children will be missing someone, so keep the talk gentle and never press for names. The big idea: when we are very sad God does not tell us to stop crying; he stays close and is our strength when we have none left.
“My body and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart for ever.” — from Psalm 73
Memory verse
My flesh and my heart fails, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26
Talk together
What did Mary’s mother say when Mary asked if she could go to faraway places?
She said Mary was her child, given to her by God, and she had given her back to him. Wherever God sent her, that was where her mother wanted her to be.
What sad news came after Mary went back to Calabar?
Her mother had died a few weeks after Mary sailed, and three months later her sister Janie died too.
Who do you miss, or who do you know who is sad?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that God stays close to us when we are sad, and he is our strength when we have none left.
Activity
A Strength-of-My-Heart Card
You will need: Paper and crayons or pencils
- Have each child fold a sheet of paper to make a card.
- On the front, have them draw a big heart and colour it in brightly.
- Inside, help them write “God is the strength of your heart,” and sign their name.
- Suggest they give it to someone who might be sad or missing someone, or keep it for themselves.
- Pray together for everyone who misses someone they love.
Pray
Dear God, thank you that you are with me when I am sad. Please comfort everyone who misses someone they love. Amen.
Week 6 — One Word in the Dark
Mary is sent to Okoyong, a forest country no missionary lived in, where an important man’s death could mean others were killed to go with him; mention this only in passing. On 4 August 1888 she lands near dark with five crying children, and in the black forest she is too scared to pray anything but one word, “Father!”, which is enough; she sings silly songs to cheer the children, walks back barefoot for the luggage, and stays. The big idea: when we are too scared to say much, one word like “Father!” is a real prayer, and God hears it.
“Be strong and of good courage. Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” — from Joshua 1
Memory verse
Haven’t I commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; don’t be afraid, neither be dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9
Talk together
What was the one-word prayer Mary prayed in the dark forest?
“Father!” She was too frightened to say anything else, and it was enough.
Why did Mary walk back through the forest that night?
The carriers would not bring up the luggage, and the children had no food or dry clothes, so she went back herself to fetch the loads.
When could you pray Mary’s one-word prayer?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that when we are too scared to say much, one word like “Father!” is a real prayer, and God hears it.
Activity
The One-Word Prayer
You will need: Nothing
- If you can, dim the lights a little and have everyone sit quietly.
- Name times when someone might feel scared: a thunderstorm at night, a bad dream, a first day at a new school, getting lost in a shop.
- After each one, have the children point up and whisper, “Father!”
- Turn the lights up and teach the memory verse with actions: strong arms for “be strong,” shake heads for “don’t be afraid,” and arms wide for “wherever you go.”
Pray
Dear God, when I am afraid, help me to remember that you are with me wherever I go. Thank you that you always hear me. Amen.
Week 7 — A Secret Friend
In Ekenge Mary shares one small room with five children, with cows behind the wall, and is never left alone, so she prays out loud by chopping bushes with a machete. Chief Edem’s sister, Ma Eme, gruff in the yard but gentle with Mary, becomes her secret helper, risking her own life to warn Mary when someone was about to be hurt, using a medicine bottle as their signal; their friendship lasts twenty-five years, though Ma Eme never became a Christian. The big idea: God often sends friends we would never expect, and he wants us to be brave, kind friends too. Ma Eme is the brave heroine of this chapter, so let the children admire her.
“A friend loves at all times.” — from Proverbs 17
Memory verse
A friend loves at all times; and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17
Talk together
How did Mary find a way to pray out loud when she was never left alone?
She went into the bushes with a machete and chopped at the plants, praying loudly while the noise of the chopping covered her voice.
What was the secret signal between Mary and Ma Eme?
Ma Eme would send a certain bottle asking for medicine. It meant that someone was in danger and Mary should be ready to help.
Who is a good friend to you, and how can you be a good friend to someone else?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that God gives us friends, sometimes ones we do not expect, and he wants us to be kind and loyal friends too.
Activity
Our Secret Kindness Signal
You will need: Nothing
- Put the children in pairs and have each pair make up a secret friendly signal, like a double thumbs-up or a tap on the shoulder, that means “I’ll help you.”
- Read out everyday moments, such as “Someone drops all their books,” “Someone is sitting alone at lunch,” or “Someone can’t find their coat.”
- After each one, have the pairs give their signal and say together one way they would help.
- Finish by thanking God for friends, and for Ma Eme’s courage.
Pray
Dear God, thank you for my friends. Help me to be a kind and loyal friend, and to stand up for people who are in trouble. Amen.
Week 8 — “Run!”
When Chief Edem’s son Etim dies after an accident with a log, people blame witchcraft and bring over a dozen prisoners from another village to be made to drink poison. Mary dresses Etim for his funeral in silk to honour the family, sits with the prisoners day and night with the carpenter Charles Ovens, prays until her fear goes, refuses to move from the yard, and at last whispers “Ifehe!” (“Run!”) to a woman and runs with her to safety; Ma Eme pleads for another, the prisoners are freed, and no one is killed at the funeral. Read the poison part plainly and briefly, and do not act any of it out; note Chief Edem’s words, “We are all weary of the old customs.” The big idea: sometimes being brave means staying put and saying no, and God can give us courage to stand up for someone in danger.
“Rescue the poor and needy; save them from the hand of the wicked.” — from Psalm 82
Memory verse
Rescue the weak and needy. Deliver them out of the hand of the wicked.
Psalm 82:4
Talk together
What did Mary do when she saw the poison beans?
She went to her hut and prayed, and her fear went away. Then she told the chiefs there must be no killing and sat at the entrance of the yard and would not move.
What does “Ifehe!” mean, and why did Mary whisper it?
It means “Run!” Mary whispered it to a woman who was about to drink the poison, and the two of them ran together to Mary’s house.
Can you think of a time when someone needed you to stand up for them?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that God can give us courage to say no to what is wrong and to stand with people who are in danger.
Activity
A Courage Shield
You will need: Paper and crayons or pencils
- Have each child draw a big shield shape filling a sheet of paper.
- Across the top, help them write “God gives me courage.”
- In the middle, have them draw one way to stand up for someone, like sitting with a child who is left out, saying “Stop, that’s unkind,” or telling a teacher.
- Hold the shields up together and say the memory verse.
Pray
Dear God, please give me courage to stand up for people who are being hurt, and help me to trust you when I am afraid. Amen.
Week 9 — Susie
Mary’s house becomes a safe place for babies, and when many die she buries each with flowers and a prayer, crying for every one. When a slave woman named Iye has twins and is driven out, Mary runs barefoot to meet her, carries the babies herself, and has a new path cut so Iye need not walk through the village; the boy had already died, but the girl, Susie, lives and becomes the darling of the house until an accident with boiling water, when Mary nurses her for thirteen days before she dies in Mary’s arms. Then the village gathers at a twin’s grave to praise God, and Mary pays to set Iye free. This is a sad chapter, so read slowly, allow quiet, and do not linger on Iye’s treatment or Susie’s injury. The big idea: Jesus is a shepherd who carries his lambs close to his heart, and no one is too small for his love.
“He shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom.” — from Isaiah 40
Memory verse
He will feed his flock like a shepherd, he will gather the lambs in his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and will gently lead those who have their young.
Isaiah 40:11
Talk together
Why did Mary carry the box with the twin babies herself?
Because everyone was afraid of twins and no one else would touch it.
What did Mary do for Iye after Susie died?
Mary had always refused to buy slaves, but she paid ten pounds to set Iye free. Years later Iye was baptised.
How does it feel to know that Jesus carries you like a little lamb?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that Jesus is like a shepherd who carries his lambs close to his heart, and no one is too small for his love.
Activity
Gathering the Lambs
You will need: Nothing
- Have the children spread out around the room and sit down as little lambs.
- Walk among them as the shepherd, and gently call each lamb by name to come and join you in a circle, the “fold.”
- When everyone is gathered, say together, “No one is too small for Jesus to carry.”
- Close by praying quietly for babies and children who are sick or alone.
Pray
Dear Jesus, thank you that you carry me close to your heart. Please look after babies and children who are sick or alone. Amen.
Week 10 — The Woman’s God
Mary walks eight hours through pouring rain to help a dying chief, losing her boots, stockings and umbrella, so that no one in his household will be killed; the chief recovers, and that silly, soaking walk wins the Okoyong people’s hearts more than anything else. When a war is about to start she goes anyway, answering a chief’s scorn with, “you have evidently forgotten to take into account the woman’s God,” and the very chief she had helped kneels and asks her to make peace. Afterwards people bring her their quarrels, and she sits in the middle of the shouting quietly knitting. The big idea: Jesus calls peacemakers God’s children, and we can help people stop fighting and be friends again.
“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” — from Matthew 5
Memory verse
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Matthew 5:9
Talk together
What happened to Mary’s clothes on her walk through the rain?
She lost her boots, her stockings and her broken umbrella, and the women carried most of her clothes on their heads in big bowls.
Who stepped out of the line of armed men and knelt at Mary’s feet?
The old chief she had walked through the rain to help when he was ill. He asked her to help them make peace.
How could you be a peacemaker at home or at school?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that Jesus calls peacemakers God’s children, and we can help people stop fighting and be friends again.
Activity
What Would a Peacemaker Do?
You will need: Nothing
- Show the children how to pretend to knit, slowly and calmly, the way Mary did while people argued.
- Read out small everyday quarrels, such as “Two friends both want the red crayon” or “Someone pushed in the queue.”
- While everyone keeps knitting, ask the group how a peacemaker could help, and listen to a few answers.
- Finish by saying the memory verse together, quietly, like Mary’s clicking needles.
Pray
Dear God, please make me a peacemaker. When people around me are angry, help me to be calm and kind, and to help them be friends again. Amen.
Week 11 — Joy in the Morning
The people move to Akpap in 1896; a sickness kills four of Mary’s children, smallpox spreads, and Mary vaccinates people and turns her old house into a hospital while almost everyone else runs away. When Chief Edem dies of smallpox, she makes his coffin, digs his grave and buries her old friend herself, then works alone for three dark years, writing, “All is dark, except above. Calvary stands safe and sure.” In August 1903, fifteen years after she came, seven young people and eleven children are baptised, and everyone sings Psalm 103 in Efik. Keep the deaths brief and give the most time to the joyful baptism. The big idea: God is at work even in the dark, and joy comes in the morning.
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” — from Psalm 30
Memory verse
For his anger is but for a moment; his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning.
Psalm 30:5
Talk together
What did Mary do when Chief Edem died of smallpox?
There was no one to help, so she made a coffin with her own hands, dug a grave and buried him, then walked back through the forest as the sun came up.
What happened in Okoyong in August 1903?
Seven young people and eleven children were baptised, six of them children Mary had rescued, and everyone sang Psalm 103 in Efik.
What is something good you are waiting and praying for?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that God is at work even when we cannot see it, and joy comes in the morning.
Activity
Night and Morning
You will need: Paper and crayons
- Have each child fold a sheet of paper in half.
- On the left half, have them colour a dark night sky with a moon and stars.
- On the right half, have them draw a bright sunrise, and children singing.
- Help them write across the bottom, “Joy comes in the morning,” and say the memory verse together.
Pray
Dear God, when I have sad days, help me to remember that you are still with me. Thank you that joy comes in the morning. Amen.
Week 12 — Safe
Mary sends Esien, Effiom and Mana, a girl once sold as a slave, to teach at Itu, where hundreds soon come to the church they built; she lays cement floors herself, praying as she stirs, and in her sixties is pushed through the bush in a basket-chair, saying the strength comes each day as she begins. She dies on 13 January 1915 with the girls she raised beside her, mourned as “Everybody’s Mother,” and at her grave her Jamaican friend Mammy Fuller says one word: “Safe.” Mention her death simply and peacefully, as the book does; this is a good week to look back over the whole story. The big idea: Mary was never strong, but God gave her strength for each day, and he will do the same for us. The chapter’s own verse, 2 Corinthians 12:9, is a good one to read aloud too.
“My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” — from 2 Corinthians 12
Memory verse
He gives power to the faint; and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Isaiah 40:29
Talk together
Who started the church at Itu?
Mary left two boys, Esien and Effiom, and a girl named Mana there. Mana had once been sold as a slave, and she taught the women of Itu like a mother.
What one word did Mammy Fuller say at Mary’s grave?
“Safe.” Mary, whom the people called “Everybody’s Mother,” was safe with God at last.
When do you feel weak or tired, and how could you ask God for strength?
Any honest answer is good here. The chapter’s point is that Mary was never strong, but God gave her strength for each day as she began, and he will do the same for you.
Activity
Walk Mary’s Journey
You will need: Six sheets of paper and a crayon, prepared by the leader
- Before the session, write one place on each sheet, “Aberdeen,” “Dundee,” “Calabar,” “Ekenge,” “Akpap” and “Itu,” and spread them around the room in that order.
- Walk to each sheet together as a group.
- At each one, ask a child to tell one thing that happened to Mary there.
- Before moving on, have everyone say together, “God gave her strength.”
- At the last sheet, say the memory verse together and thank God for Mary’s life.
Pray
Dear God, thank you for Mary Slessor and all the children she loved. When I feel weak, please give me strength for each day, and keep me safe with you for ever. Amen.