Love And Rebuke

“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13 The second main difference between true and false love that we want to point out is this: Divine love is not only consistent with reproof and rebuke, but it often requires them from those who possess it. It makes it the duty of those who have it to reprove and rebuke whatever is evil— whatever does not promote the highest good of the person concerned.

In this, as in everything else, this love follows its divine example: “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.” Revelation 3:19 When necessary for a person's good, God reproves and disciplines. He does not willingly afflict or grieve people any more than a father willingly disciplines a disobedient child. But if he is a wise father, he will do so because he loves the child. In the same way, the person who possesses this Divine love is willing to rebuke and reprove sin wherever it is found. He will not allow sin to remain unchallenged in his neighbor, but will faithfully reprove him and seek to lead him to what is right.

Let us look at a beautiful example (one among many) of this Divine love at work in the heart and life of the very apostle who wrote 1 Corinthians 13. We cannot go wrong in choosing this example because it comes from Paul himself.

“But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, ‘If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you force the Gentiles to live like Jews?’” Galatians 2:11–15 Well done, Paul—what noble and courageous love! He did not go and whisper behind Peter's back or attack him in secret.

"I said to Cephas before them all..."

If you want a characteristic of true love, here it is.

It must have been extremely painful for Paul to rebuke Peter publicly. They loved one another. In fact, years later Peter referred to Paul as: “...our beloved brother Paul...” 2 Peter 3:15 They truly cared for one another. Paul understood the demands of true love, for he wrote this thirteenth chapter of Corinthians. If he loved Peter, and if he understood true love, why did he openly rebuke him? Why did he put himself through the pain of doing so?

Faithfulness to Peter, faithfulness to the truth, and faithfulness to Jesus Christ required it.

Therefore, Paul set aside his own personal feelings and endured the pain of confrontation rather than allow Peter to continue in error, the Gentile believers to be misled, and the Jews to be influenced by worldly compromise.

Paul publicly rebuked Peter because truth was at stake. As often happens, truth was with the minority. Most of the influence was on the side of the circumcision party. They were among the most influential believers, yet Paul stood against that influence in his rebuke of Peter.

Why?

Because faithfulness to the truth demanded it, and Divine love is first pure .

There is an even greater example in our Lord Himself—the Master whose entire soul was love and whose life was a continual sacrifice for the good of others. Yet how faithfully He corrected His own followers when they strayed from the truth, and how fearlessly He exposed and condemned the shallowness and hypocrisy of those who claimed to love God while contradicting that claim by their lives.

How fearlessly He rebuked sin wherever He found it.

On one occasion He said to His disciples: “But he turned and rebuked them.” Luke 9:55–56 (The longer wording found in some older translations— "You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man came not to destroy men's lives but to save them" —is not included in the ESV text.)

It was as though He was saying, "You should understand this by now."

On another occasion He said: “Are you also still without understanding?” Matthew 15:16 And again: “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” Matthew 16:23 That was Divine love. That was faithful love—love that was willing to rebuke rather than allow its object to continue in sin and offend God.

Again, when speaking to the Pharisees and others who claimed to be faithful to God, He said: John 8:39, 42, 44 “If you were Abraham's children, you would be doing the works Abraham did.”

“If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here.”

“You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires.”

It was no easier for Jesus Christ to confront the religious people of His day than it is for His servants to confront professing believers who live inconsistently today.

Yet His divine heart was overflowing with love. He gave Himself on the cross for them and prayed: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 Oh, that your love and mine would not lack this feature of the divine likeness! If only there were more of this faithful, loving love that dares to reprove sin and lovingly rebuke a brother, instead of the false love that flatters a person to his face and criticises him behind his back.

Do you suppose that most professing Christians of this generation truly believe that one another are living rightly? Consider almost any church. Do you think that most members genuinely believe that their fellow members—brothers and sisters in the faith—are living consistently godly lives, not merely outwardly but in heart?

Sadly, what people say behind one another's backs often tells a different story. They do not really believe it. They know better, and they are quick to tell others about the faults they see. Yet not one in a thousand has ever gone privately to a brother, taken him by the hand in love, and gently reproved him concerning his sinful or backsliding conduct.

What would people think of a woman who, after attending church the previous day, requested a private meeting with Mrs. —— and, when alone with her, said with tears in her eyes and deep sincerity: “Dear Mrs. ——, I have come to see you on a very difficult matter. Will you allow a word of encouragement and correction from someone who feels very weak and unworthy, yet trusts that the Spirit of God has led her to come? May I tell you that I was troubled by your conduct at church yesterday. It seemed to me that your attention was not focused on the seriousness of the service, but was occupied with observing and criticising the dress of the person sitting opposite you. I also noticed that when you left the church, you immediately began laughing and talking in a way that seemed inconsistent with the service you had just attended.”

Suppose she continued: “Dear Mrs. ——, I have not mentioned this to anyone—not even to my husband—but I have come to speak to you personally. Let us go before the Lord together and ask Him to give us His Holy Spirit, so that He may show you where you are wrong and reveal whether you are drifting away from the love of God.”

What would people think? What would they say about such conduct?

Yet if everyone who saw sin in a neighbor would act in this way—if they would follow the Lord's instruction and go privately to their brother or sister and point out the fault—how many people would be saved from backsliding, and how many painful divisions and controversies in churches could be avoided!

But where are the people who will do it?

I do not mean that there are none—God forbid. I know there are some. But comparatively speaking, where are they? Where is the person willing to endure personal discomfort in order to help another?

That is the real issue. If it were an easy and pleasant duty, many would perform it readily. But because it is painful, they hesitate to do it.

Where is the person who will do it rather than allow a brother to remain asleep in sin? Where is the person who will act rather than see the cause of Christ dishonored and harmed? Where are the saints who, in humility and love, go to restore someone who has gone astray?

I hope you know many such people. Sadly, I know only a few. If you know many, I am glad, and the more you know, the better. If you are one of them, then that is one more. If every Christian possessed this kind of love, what a transformation would soon take place. This is what the church needs—people who can afford to rebuke and correct because they are not concerned with what others think of them. Their only concern is to please their Lord and Master and do His will.

Do you have this love that seeks not its own interests?

What a contrast there is between Saul and Paul. Have you ever considered it? What does Saul say?

“For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God's righteousness.” Romans 10:3 Before he received true love, his driving motive was self-interest. He was not concerned with the kingdom of God; he was concerned with his own honor, reputation, and advancement. He wanted the approval of his nation.

Now compare that with Paul after his conversion. What does he say?

“That I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.”

Romans 9:2–3 There is love indeed.

These were the very people whose approval he once desired. Yet after receiving the Holy Spirit and having his eyes opened to see their lost condition, he grieved deeply for them. He says: “That I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.”

Romans 9:2–3 What a contrast!

He no longer cares what they think of him. Instead, he goes about trying to open their eyes, showing them that religious privilege alone cannot save them and that they must turn to God. Self has completely disappeared from view. Paul's heart, soul, and efforts are now devoted to the salvation of others.

If people praise him, he accepts it. If they condemn him, he accepts that too. His focus is the kingdom of God, and regardless of how people treat him, he continues seeking that kingdom— even to the point of martyrdom. He endures their fiercest hatred and opposition so that he might help turn people from Satan to God and from sin to righteousness.

Self is no longer the center. It is no longer Paul who matters—it is Christ and His kingdom.

False love is the opposite.

The person who possesses false love is mainly concerned about what people think of him, not about how they treat his professed Lord. Such a person cannot bear the thought of correcting anyone. The very idea frightens him. He calls those who do so harsh, legalistic, or judgmental. Yet he may have no hesitation in criticising someone behind their back.

The speech of false love reveals its true nature. It flatters with its lips. Honey is on its tongue, but poison lies underneath. Beware of it.

Even when it appears to praise a brother or neighbor, it often adds a destructive qualification: “Oh, he is a good man, but...”

“Yes, I respect him greatly, only...”

How much damage has been done by such words! How many good reputations have been tarnished by this spirit! How much influence for good has been weakened or destroyed by careless criticism and hidden malice!

It has been truly said that there is scarcely any virtue so pure that slander will not try to stain it.

Even in the lives of godly people, those looking for faults can always find something to criticise.

Therefore, be careful which love you possess.

True love does not rejoice in wrongdoing.

“It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:6 Are you aware of a feeling of satisfaction when someone you dislike falls into sin or misfortune?

If so, be careful. That spirit is not from God.

Do you secretly rejoice when evil comes upon an enemy? If so, you must get rid of that poison.

God will not allow such a spirit in Heaven. One person carrying that bitterness would corrupt Paradise itself. Our Lord said: “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:44–45 Now, my brother, my sister, examine yourself.

We shall meet again, and you will discover that these are not imaginary ideas or empty theories.

They are realities. Though these great truths of Christianity are not often preached in our day, they remain true. They are found in the Word of God, and there is no true Christianity in us unless we possess this love that hates evil because it is evil, that lovingly reproves it, seeks to remove it, and longs to see it healed.

Here again, false love is the complete opposite of Divine love. It does not care much about righteousness. Its highest ideal is simply peace and quiet. It says, “Let us keep things calm; we must not disturb the peace of the church.” It cries, “Peace, peace,” when there is no real peace.

It says, “We cannot help these problems. Everyone must look after himself. We are not responsible for our neighbor.”

Often it knows very well that serious wrongs exist beneath the surface—wrong practices, harmful systems, and sinful conduct that it chooses to tolerate or support. But because these things are hidden from public view, it says, “Leave them alone. We must not stir things up. Peace! Peace!”

It says, “Never mind righteousness; the church must be supported, regardless of where the money comes from. Never mind the wrongs that may be connected with it. We must have peace.”

It would rather cover up evil than expose and remove it. It says, “Never mind. We cannot allow these matters to be investigated, corrected, or rooted out. Peace—we must have peace!”

Then, if someone dares to expose the problem and reveal the corruption underneath, they are treated as Elijah was treated by Ahab.

“When Ahab saw Elijah, Ahab said to him, ‘Is it you, you troubler of Israel?’” 1 Kings 18:17 In the same way, those who confront wrongdoing are often accused of causing division rather than those responsible for the wrongdoing itself.

And when you remind people of the great principle: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12 They sometimes reply, “But we are not expected to be perfect in this life,” and use that as an excuse to avoid dealing with the issue. In this way, they simply place another covering over the problem and allow it to continue.

This is the devil's love, and the more of it there is, the better it serves his purpose.

But the love and wisdom that come from above are different.

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17 Notice that it is first pure, then peaceable .

I would rather live in continual conflict alongside what is true, right, and good than enjoy harmony with what is empty, corrupt, and evil, and destined for destruction.

May the Lord help you to make the same choice.