Leader’s guide · 13 weeks

Leader’s guide: Confessions (For Teens)

Augustine of Hippo

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Using this guide with a class? See Ochorus for schools or homeschool families

This guide takes your group through Confessions (For Teens) in thirteen weeks, one chapter each week. It’s written for teenagers aged about 13 to 18 and works well for a youth group, a homeschool or a small group. Augustine’s Confessions is the life story of a brilliant, restless young man, told as a prayer to God: his teenage rebellion, his years chasing success and clever answers, his mother’s prayers, his conversion in a garden in Milan, and his discovery that “our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee.” Teens will find a surprising amount of their own world in it.

Each session takes about 30 to 40 minutes. Welcome everyone and say the memory verse together. Read the chapter, either aloud together or at home beforehand. Talk it through using the chapter’s three questions, which come with answers to help you. Do the activity, which takes about 10 minutes. Then close by praying the chapter’s prayer, or one of your own.

To prepare, read the chapter yourself and look over the activity so you know what you’ll need; most weeks need nothing more than paper and pens. Augustine is honest about sex, peer pressure, a long relationship outside marriage, grief and the death of a close friend, and in Chapter 5 he describes not wanting to live after a loss. Read those chapters ahead, keep the talk respectful, and never ask anyone to share their own sins or struggles with the group: personal reflection stays private. Be ready to follow up quietly with anyone who seems to be carrying grief or dark thoughts, and know where to point them for help, including a crisis line where you live.

Week 1 — Restless

Augustine opens his life story with a prayer, not a birth date: God made us for himself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in him. He looks back honestly at his childhood in North Africa, from a jealous baby to a boy who prayed not to be beaten at school, wept over stories, lied and cheated at games, yet still had real gifts from God. The big idea: the restlessness we feel is a homing signal, because we were made for God and nothing smaller will satisfy us.

“As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.” — Psalm 42:1 (KJV)

Memory verse

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.

Psalm 42:1

Talk together

  1. What is the famous sentence on the first page of the Confessions?

    “Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee.” God made us for himself, and we stay restless until we rest in him.

  2. Why does Augustine say babies are not truly innocent?

    Because he has watched a baby turn pale with envy at another child feeding. Their innocence, he says, is the weakness of their limbs, not the goodness of their will.

  3. What does he thank God for about his boyhood, and what does he call his sin?

    He thanks God for the boy's love of truth, good memory, gift of speech and friendships. His sin was looking for pleasure and truth in created things instead of in God.

Activity

What Am I Hungry For?

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Give everyone a sheet of paper and ask them to list, for themselves, five things people their age reach for to fill a quiet or empty moment.
  2. As a group, call out some of the items without saying whose list they came from, and write them up where everyone can see.
  3. Discuss: which of these are good gifts in themselves, and which promise more than they can give?
  4. Read Augustine’s line, “our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee,” and ask what it would look like to bring that restlessness to God instead.
  5. Invite everyone to write Augustine’s first line in their own words at the bottom of their sheet and keep it.

Read chapter 1

Week 2 — Pears for the Pigs

At sixteen, with a year off school, Augustine gives in to desire, shrugs off his mother’s warnings, and even invents sins to impress his friends. One night he and some friends steal pears they don’t want and throw them to the pigs, and he admits he did it simply because it was forbidden, and would never have done it alone. The big idea: sin loves an audience and can want wrong things just because they are wrong, but God can melt even that.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” — Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)

Memory verse

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9

Talk together

  1. Why did Augustine and his friends steal the pears?

    Not because they were hungry or wanted the pears. They threw most of them to the pigs. They did it because it was forbidden and because they enjoyed doing wrong together.

  2. What lie did Augustine tell his friends at sixteen?

    He boasted about sins he had not actually committed, because he was ashamed to seem more innocent than they were.

  3. What does Augustine mean by “friendship too unfriendly”?

    A friendship that pulls you into doing harm. He says he would never have stolen the pears alone; the group made him “ashamed not to be shameless.”

Activity

Would I Do This Alone?

You will need: Nothing

  1. Read out four or five everyday group situations, such as a joke at someone’s expense, a screenshot being passed round, or a dare at a sleepover.
  2. For each one, have the group stand on one side of the room for “easy to say no to” and the other for “hard to say no to.”
  3. Ask a few volunteers why the group makes these things harder or easier, without anyone sharing a real story.
  4. Together, come up with three short, natural ways to say “I’m out” that don’t lecture anyone.
  5. Challenge everyone to ask themselves this week, when a group says “Let’s go,” whether they would do it alone.

Read chapter 2

Week 3 — A Cauldron of Unholy Loves

At seventeen Augustine arrives in Carthage, in love with the idea of love, hooked on sad plays, and proud of being top of his class. Reading Cicero’s Hortensius sets him on fire to love wisdom, but when he opens the Bible he looks down on its plain style, and joins the Manichees, who promise clever answers and say sin isn’t really you. The big idea: pride can make us skip the truth that asks us to bow, and Jesus says the kingdom belongs to those willing to be taught like children.

“Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” — Matthew 18:3 (KJV)

Memory verse

Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:3

Talk together

  1. What book first turned Augustine toward God, and what was missing from it?

    Cicero's Hortensius, which made him burn with love for wisdom. What was missing was the name of Christ.

  2. Why was Augustine disappointed when he first read the Bible?

    It seemed plain next to Cicero's style, and his pride “shrunk from their lowliness.” He refused to become a “little one” who could grow into it.

  3. What did the Manichees teach about sin, and why might that be attractive?

    That sin was done by a dark nature mixed into a person, not really by the person. It let Augustine feel free from blame.

Activity

Reading as a Learner

You will need: Bibles, paper and pens

  1. Have everyone open to Mark 1 and read it quietly to themselves.
  2. Ask each person to write down one thing they understand and one thing they don’t.
  3. Gather a few of the “don’t understand” points and talk them through together, without rushing to have every answer.
  4. Discuss: what is the difference between reading the Bible as a critic and reading it as “a little one”?
  5. Encourage everyone to keep reading Mark this week in the same way.

Read chapter 3

Week 4 — The Son of These Tears

Monica grieves over her son’s new religion and dreams that one day he will stand where she stands. A bishop tells her to let him read and to pray, and sends her away with the words, “it is not possible that the son of these tears should perish.” Meanwhile Augustine sells the skill of winning arguments and lives with a woman he has not married, and they have a son, Adeodatus. The big idea: prayers can take years without being lost, and sometimes prayer does more than another argument.

“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.” — Psalm 126:5 (KJV)

Memory verse

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!

Psalm 126:5

Talk together

  1. What did Monica see in her dream, and how did she answer Augustine's reading of it?

    She saw him standing beside her on a wooden ruler. When he said it meant she would come round to his view, she answered that it said “where thou, there he also,” not the other way round.

  2. What did the bishop say to Monica when she would not stop begging?

    “Go thy ways and God bless thee, for it is not possible that the son of these tears should perish.”

  3. How does Augustine describe the woman he lived with?

    As a partner he had not married, found “in a wayward passion,” but only one, and he was faithful to her. They had a son, Adeodatus. He never gives her name.

Activity

A Week of Quiet Prayer

You will need: Small cards and pens

  1. Give everyone a small card.
  2. Ask them to write, for themselves, the first name of one person they would like to see come to know God, perhaps someone they have quietly given up on.
  3. Talk together about the bishop’s advice to Monica: why might praying and letting someone read do more than winning an argument?
  4. Spend a minute in silence while everyone prays for the person on their card.
  5. Encourage them to keep the card somewhere they will see it and pray for that person every day this week, or to thank someone who has prayed for them.

Read chapter 4

Week 5 — Half of My Soul

Augustine’s closest childhood friend falls ill, is baptised while unconscious, and then dies after rejecting Augustine’s mocking joke about it. Augustine describes his grief with painful honesty: everything looked like death, he wanted neither to live nor to die, and in time friends helped him heal. Looking back, he sees he had loved his friend as if he would never die, and concludes that we should love our friends in God. The big idea: friends are a great gift, but they are not meant to be our god; love held in God is never finally lost.

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.” — Psalm 42:5 (KJV)

Memory verse

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Talk together

  1. How did Augustine's friend react when Augustine joked about his baptism?

    He drew back “as from an enemy” and told Augustine to stop if he wanted to stay his friend.

  2. Why did Augustine say his grief was so crushing?

    Because he had “poured out my soul upon the dust,” loving a person who must die as if he would never die, with no hope beyond this life.

  3. What way of loving friends does Augustine recommend instead?

    To love God, and your friend in God, and even your enemy for God's sake, because then you lose no one who is dear to you.

Activity

What Good Friends Do

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Read aloud Augustine’s list of what he loved in his friends: talking and joking together, doing kind things for one another, reading together, being silly or serious together.
  2. In small groups, have teens add three more things that make a friendship good.
  3. Discuss: what is the difference between loving a friend and making a friend your whole world?
  4. Ask everyone to think privately of someone who has lost a person they love this year.
  5. Invite them to send that person a short message this week simply saying they remember.

Read chapter 5

Week 6 — A Lie at the Harbour

Faustus, the great Manichee teacher, turns out to know little, and Augustine’s trust in the movement breaks. He decides to move to Rome, lies to his mother at the harbour and sails while she prays all night that he won’t go. In Rome he nearly dies of a fever, admits the Manichees appealed to his pride by letting him say “it wasn’t really me,” and then wins a post in Milan. The big idea: God’s “no” is not the same as God not caring, and healing starts when we own what we did.

“A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.” — Proverbs 16:9 (KJV)

Memory verse

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Talk together

  1. What did Augustine respect about Faustus, even though he was disappointed?

    Faustus knew he didn't know the answers and wasn't ashamed to admit it. Augustine called that “the modesty of a candid mind.”

  2. How did Augustine get away from his mother at the harbour?

    He lied, saying he had to stay with a friend until the friend sailed. While she prayed through the night at a chapel near the ship, he sailed for Rome.

  3. How does Augustine explain God refusing Monica's prayer that night?

    God ignored what she asked in that moment in order to give her what she had always asked: her son's salvation.

Activity

Plans and Steps

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Ask everyone to draw a simple road map of how they once expected something to go, such as a year at school, a friendship or a team season, and how it actually went.
  2. Invite a few volunteers to describe a detour that turned out well, keeping it light.
  3. Read Proverbs 16:9 and talk about how Monica’s unanswered prayer that night became part of the answer to her lifelong prayer.
  4. Discuss why “it wasn’t really me” is such a tempting excuse, and what changes when we say “that was me.”
  5. Ask everyone to think privately of one thing they need to own this week, and to say “that was me, and I’m sorry” to God or to the person involved.

Read chapter 6

Week 7 — To Milan I Came

In Milan, Ambrose welcomes Augustine like a father, and Augustine goes to hear him preach only to judge his style, but slowly finds that what Ambrose says is true. He discovers that the Christianity he had mocked for years was a cartoon, leaves the Manichees and becomes a learner, realising how much of life everyone already takes on trust. Monica arrives, calm and sure she will see him believe. The big idea: kindness and steady listening can move someone toward God, and what people reject is often a caricature of the faith.

“So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” — Romans 10:17 (KJV)

Memory verse

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.

Romans 10:17

Talk together

  1. Why did Augustine first go to hear Ambrose preach?

    To judge his speaking style as a professional. He wasn't interested in the content at first, but the truth came in along with the eloquence.

  2. What did Augustine discover he had been attacking for years?

    A false picture of the faith. The Church didn't teach that God has a human-shaped body; he had “barked” against “the fictions of carnal imaginations.”

  3. How did Monica respond when Ambrose banned her custom of bringing food and wine to martyrs' shrines?

    She gave it up immediately and willingly, without arguing, and gave to the poor instead.

Activity

Cartoon or the Real Thing?

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Ask the group to list, without names, common things people say Christians believe or are like.
  2. Sort them into two columns: “what the church actually teaches” and “a cartoon of it.”
  3. Discuss how Augustine spent years attacking a cartoon, and how he found out the truth.
  4. Ask: who has been an Ambrose to you, someone whose kindness made you keep listening?
  5. Encourage everyone to pick one hard question about Christianity and look for a careful answer this week, from a pastor or a fair explanation.

Read chapter 7

Week 8 — Absent While Present

On his way to give a speech full of flattering lies, Augustine passes a carefree drunk beggar and realises his ambition is making him more anxious than the beggar. His friend Alypius, dragged to the gladiator fights, vows to keep his eyes shut, but one roar from the crowd makes him look, and he is hooked and becomes “one of the throng.” God later frees Alypius, who grows into a man of real integrity. The big idea: what you keep looking at, you start to become, so lean on God rather than on your own strength.

“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” — 1 Corinthians 15:33 (KJV)

Memory verse

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

1 Corinthians 15:33

Talk together

  1. What did the drunk beggar make Augustine realise?

    That the beggar had a cheap, short-lived happiness while Augustine, chasing praise through lies and ambition, had none at all, and was full of anxiety.

  2. What did Alypius promise he would do in the amphitheatre, and what actually happened?

    He said he would be “absent while present” by keeping his eyes shut. When the crowd roared he opened them, saw the blood, and was gripped by it.

  3. According to Augustine, why did Alypius fall?

    Because he trusted in his own strength. His soul was “bold rather than resolute,” and relied on itself instead of on God.

Activity

One of the Throng

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Read aloud the moment Alypius opens his eyes in the arena.
  2. Discuss: what are today’s versions of the arena, the things people say they can watch without being affected?
  3. Ask why Augustine says Alypius was “bold rather than resolute,” and what real strength looks like instead.
  4. Have everyone write down privately one thing they watch or scroll that leaves them feeling like “one of the throng.”
  5. Challenge them to skip it completely this week, and to practise a simple line like “I’m not watching that.”

Read chapter 8

Week 9 — Torn and Bleeding

Augustine plans a career marriage, and the woman he has lived with for about fifteen years, the mother of his son, is sent back to Africa; she vows to stay faithful to God while he cannot even wait for his wedding. At the same time his mind clears: he learns that evil is not a thing but a good will twisted away from God. But the philosophers’ books lacked the one thing that mattered: the Word made flesh, and the humility to come to him. The big idea: knowing about God is not the same as coming to him, and only the humble Christ can reach the wrongs in our lives.

“And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.” — John 1:14 (KJV)

Memory verse

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:14

Talk together

  1. Why was the mother of Augustine's son sent away, and what did she do?

    Because she was considered an obstacle to the marriage arranged for him. She returned to Africa, vowed never to be with another man, and left their son with Augustine.

  2. What did Augustine conclude about where evil comes from?

    That evil is not a substance at all. It is “the perversion of the will,” a good will turned away from God.

  3. What did Augustine find missing from the Platonist books?

    That “the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us” was not there. They showed the goal but not the humble way to it through Christ.

Activity

Head and Heart

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Draw two columns on a board: “What Augustine was learning about God” and “How Augustine was treating people.”
  2. Fill them in together from the chapter.
  3. Discuss: how can someone’s ideas about God improve while their life still hurts people?
  4. Talk about what changes when God comes close in Jesus, humble enough to touch real lives.
  5. Ask everyone to think privately of someone they have treated as unimportant, and to consider one honest apology this week with no excuses attached.

Read chapter 9

Week 10 — Only Not Yet

Augustine’s doubts are mostly gone, but his will is chained by habit. He hears how the famous professor Victorinus finally confessed Christ in public, and how two officials gave up their careers after reading about Antony, and he is ashamed of his old prayer, “Give me chastity and continency, only not yet.” He explains how a wrong desire becomes a habit and a habit becomes a necessity. The big idea: “not yet” has no end date, and habits grow stronger the longer we wait.

“For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.” — Romans 7:19 (KJV)

Memory verse

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

Romans 7:19

Talk together

  1. What did Victorinus mean by “Do walls then make Christians?” and how did he finally answer his own question?

    He meant he could be a Christian privately without joining the church. In the end he went to church, asked to be made a Christian, and declared his faith publicly.

  2. How does Augustine describe the way a habit becomes a chain?

    A wrong will becomes a desire; a desire given in to becomes a habit; and a habit not resisted becomes something that feels like necessity.

  3. Why did the teenage Augustine pray “only not yet”?

    Because he was afraid God would answer quickly and take away desires he still wanted to satisfy.

Activity

The Chain of Habit

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Read aloud Augustine’s description: a wrong want becomes a habit, and a habit becomes a necessity.
  2. Draw the chain on a board with three links and ask the group for everyday, non-personal examples of how each link forms, such as screen time or snacking at midnight.
  3. Discuss: why does “in a minute” or “not yet” feel so harmless?
  4. Ask everyone to write down for themselves, privately, one “not yet” in their own life and one concrete step they could take against it today.
  5. Encourage them to tell one trusted person what they are doing.

Read chapter 10

Week 11 — Take Up and Read

In a small garden in Milan, Augustine wrestles with a divided will, hears his old habits whispering, and weeps under a fig tree crying, “Why not now?” A child’s voice chants, “Take up and read,” and he opens Paul’s letters to Romans 13:13–14, and the darkness of doubt lifts. Alypius joins him, and Monica rejoices to see her prayers answered. The big idea: the moment of surrender comes when we stop saying “tomorrow” and say “why not now?”

“But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.” — Romans 13:14 (KJV)

Memory verse

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

Romans 13:14

Talk together

  1. What did Augustine find strange about his own will in the garden?

    His body obeyed his mind at once, but his mind could not get itself to will fully. He concluded that a half-willing will is a divided, weak will.

  2. What did Augustine hear, and what did he do?

    A child's voice chanting “Take up and read.” He opened Paul's letters and read Romans 13:13–14, and his doubt vanished.

  3. How did Alypius respond?

    He read the next words, “him that is weak in the faith, receive,” applied them to himself, and calmly joined Augustine in his decision.

Activity

Make No Provision

You will need: Bibles, paper and pens

  1. Read Romans 13:8–14 aloud together, slowly.
  2. Discuss why the garden moment was the end of a long road, not a random Bible lucky dip.
  3. Ask: what does it mean in everyday life to “make no provision for the flesh”? List practical examples together, such as moving a phone out of the bedroom.
  4. Have everyone write down privately one thing they could remove that makes their own “not yet” easy.
  5. Close by reading Augustine’s question together: “Why not now?”

Read chapter 11

Week 12 — At the Window in Ostia

Augustine resigns quietly and is baptised by Ambrose with Alypius and his son Adeodatus, who later dies young. Waiting at Ostia, he and Monica share a moment at a window when their talk of heaven seems to touch God himself; days later she falls ill and dies, saying, “Nothing is far to God.” Augustine holds back his tears through the funeral, then finally weeps, and asks readers not to mock but to pray. The big idea: faith does not switch off grief; we can believe someone is with God and still weep that they are not with us.

“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” — 1 Corinthians 2:9 (KJV)

Memory verse

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.

1 Thessalonians 4:13

Talk together

  1. What happened at the window in Ostia?

    Augustine and Monica talked about eternal life, and their minds rose beyond all created things until they briefly touched God's eternal Wisdom. Afterwards Monica said she had nothing left to live for in this world.

  2. What was Monica's last request?

    Not to worry about where her body was buried, but to remember her at the Lord's altar wherever they were. “Nothing is far to God,” she said.

  3. Why did Augustine hold back his tears, and what did he decide later?

    He thought weeping didn't fit a believer whose mother had died well. Later he let himself weep and wrote that no one should mock him for crying over the mother who had wept for him for years.

Activity

Say It in Words

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Read aloud Monica’s words at the window and her last request.
  2. Discuss: why did Augustine think he shouldn’t cry, and why does he later say he was wrong?
  3. Talk about the difference between grieving without hope and grieving with hope.
  4. Give everyone a few minutes to write a short note, for themselves to send or keep, telling someone who loves them what they mean to them.
  5. Encourage them to say it or send it this week, in real words.

Read chapter 12

Week 13 — Memory, Time and Rest

In the last books of the Confessions, Augustine tells what he is now: a bishop still tempted by pleasure, curiosity and love of praise. He marvels at the vast palace of memory, prays his famous “Too late loved I Thee,” asks what time is, and reads Genesis to find that “my weight is my love,” carrying us wherever we go. The book ends looking forward to God’s eternal Sabbath rest. The big idea: your heart will love something and be carried by it, and only in God does the restless heart find rest.

“There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.” — Hebrews 4:9 (KJV)

Memory verse

So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God.

Hebrews 4:9

Talk together

  1. What does Augustine mean by “Thou wert within, and I abroad”?

    That God was close to him the whole time, but he kept searching for happiness outside himself in created things, so he missed him.

  2. How does Augustine describe past, present and future?

    As three kinds of present in the mind: a present of things past (memory), of things present (attention, or “sight”), and of things future (expectation).

  3. What does “My weight, is my love” mean?

    Just as a stone falls and fire rises to their places, what you love pulls you and carries you where you go. Love decides your direction.

Activity

Where Is My Love Carrying Me?

You will need: Paper and pens

  1. Read aloud Augustine’s line, “My weight, is my love; thereby am I borne, whithersoever I am borne.”
  2. Discuss what he means: how do the things we love pull us in a direction?
  3. Give everyone five quiet minutes to write, for themselves, an honest answer to: what do I love most, and where is it carrying me?
  4. Read the “Too late loved I Thee” prayer aloud together.
  5. Invite each person to write one sentence of their own prayer asking, seeking and knocking, and to keep it.

Read chapter 13