Day 23 — Brothers and Sisters

“But Jacob himself went on ahead and bowed to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. Esau, however, ran to him and embraced him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. And they both wept.”

— Genesis 33:3–4 (BSB)

Nobody can make you angry quite like a brother or sister. They know exactly which button to press, because they installed it. They borrow your things without asking. They get away with stuff you never got away with. They take the last of the bread, or the best spot in the bed you share, or the phone when it’s your turn. And yet, if someone at school insults them, something rises in you that says, Only I’m allowed to do that.

The Bible’s first brothers were Cain and Abel, and it went as badly as it possibly could. But the story of Jacob and Esau is the one most of us can recognise.

They were twins who fought from the start. Their parents didn’t help: “Isaac had a taste for wild game, he loved Esau; but Rebekah loved Jacob.” Favourites. Comparison. Two boys growing up in the same tent, each knowing which parent was on his side. Then Jacob, with his mother’s help, tricked their old, blind father into giving him the blessing meant for Esau. Esau “held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing,” and he made a plan in his heart: “then I will kill my brother Jacob.”

Jacob ran. Twenty years passed. Then God told Jacob to go home, and that meant facing Esau. Jacob was terrified. He heard Esau was coming with four hundred men. He sent gifts ahead, divided his family, and limped forward bowing to the ground.

And then: “Esau, however, ran to him and embraced him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. And they both wept.” Twenty years of bitterness, gone in a run and an embrace. Jacob said something remarkable afterwards: “I have seen your face, and it is like seeing the face of God.”

That’s what reconciliation feels like. Seeing the face of someone who has every reason to hate you and finding grace there instead.

You probably don’t have a brother plotting to kill you. But you may have twenty small grudges. So try this: notice the comparison. A lot of sibling fights are really about fairness and who’s loved more. Even if a parent does seem to favour one of you, your brother or sister didn’t choose that. They’re not your enemy. Bear with what won’t change. Your sister may always be messy. Your little brother may always be loud. You also have habits they have to live with. Be first. Jacob was the one who walked toward his brother. Somebody has to go first, and it may as well be you.

And if you’re older, remember that little eyes are watching you. How you speak, what you watch, how you treat your mother: they’re learning it from you.

John says plainly, “Anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” Home is where love gets tested first.

One important line: normal sibling fights are one thing, but if a brother, sister or cousin ever hurts you, threatens you or touches you in a way that’s wrong, it’s not your fault, and you should tell a trusted adult right away, even if they tell you not to.

Think about it: Which brother, sister or cousin do you find hardest to love? What might it be like to live with you?

Try this: Do one kind thing today for a sibling without being asked and without announcing it. If there’s a grudge between you, be the one who walks toward them.

Go deeper: They Were Young – Book 1: Called — the true story of Robert Murray M’Cheyne, a clever, popular Edinburgh teenager whose older brother David prayed for him and talked with him about God, gently and persistently, while Robert listened politely and changed nothing, until David died and Robert began, in his own words, “to seek a Brother who cannot die.” Start with chapter 4, “Robert Murray M’Cheyne: A Brother Who Cannot Die”.

Lord, thank You for the people I share a home with, even when they drive me crazy. Forgive me for the grudges I hold and the ways I make life hard for them. Help me bear with what I can’t change, and give me courage to be the first to make peace. Make our home a place where Your love shows. In Jesus’ name, Amen.