What If I Want to Give Up on Faith?

The short answer: You’re not the first to feel this, and it’s better to say it honestly than to pretend. Before you walk away, ask why you want to, talk to someone you trust, and ask Peter’s question: “Lord, to whom would we go?” Whatever you decide today, God doesn’t stop holding on to you, and the door home stays open.

Maybe it isn’t one big question. Maybe faith has just slowly faded: prayer feels like talking to the ceiling, church feels boring, and your friends who don’t believe seem to be doing fine. Maybe something happened that made you angry with God. Or maybe part of you is tired of the rules. Whatever it is, you’re thinking about quitting.

(Book 1 answered whether it’s wrong to doubt. This chapter is for the moment when you’re thinking of walking away altogether.)

Why do you want to leave?

It helps to be honest about what’s really going on, because “giving up on faith” can mean very different things.

• A question you can’t answer. That’s worth investigating, not running from. Many of the big questions have good answers, and some of them are in this series.
• Drift. Nothing dramatic happened. You just stopped praying, reading and showing up, and faith grew cold. “We must pay closer attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away” (Hebrews 2:1). Drift is real, but it isn’t the same as finding Christianity false.
• Hurt. Someone at church let you down, or God didn’t stop something terrible. That pain is real and deserves to be taken seriously, and taken to God.
• Something you want. Sometimes we want to leave because faith is getting in the way of something we’d rather do. Be honest with yourself if that’s part of it.

“To whom would we go?”

There was a day when lots of people walked away from Jesus. His teaching was hard, and “many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him” (John 6:66). Jesus turned to His closest friends and asked, “Do you want to leave too?” (John 6:67).

Peter’s answer is one of the most honest in the Bible: “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68). He didn’t say, “Everything makes sense.” He said, in effect, “Where else is there? Who else has what You have?” Before you leave, ask the same question. If not Jesus, then what? What else gives forgiveness, hope beyond death, a reason why you matter?

The God who waits

Jesus told a story about a son who took his share of his father’s money and left home to do what he wanted. It went badly. When he was starving, “he came to his senses” and decided to go back (Luke 15:17). Then comes the best line: “But while he was still in the distance, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him” (Luke 15:20).

Notice: the father was watching the road. He never stopped looking. That’s what God is like. Even if you walk away, He doesn’t stop loving you, and the way back is always open.

And for those who belong to Him, there’s a deeper comfort. Jesus said of His sheep, “No one can snatch them out of My hand” (John 10:28). Paul wrote, “if we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself” (2 Timothy 2:13). Your grip on God may be weak right now. His grip on you is not.

What to do now

• Talk to someone. A parent, youth leader or older Christian you trust. Tell them honestly where you are. You’ll probably find they’ve been there too.
• Tell God the truth. Even “I don’t know if You’re there, and I’m thinking of giving up” is a prayer. He can handle it.
• Don’t decide in a dark moment. Feelings change. Give it time, and look for answers before you make it final.
• Stay near. Keep going to church or youth group if you can, even if you just sit at the back.

If wanting to give up on faith comes with wanting to give up on everything, that’s urgent. If you ever think about hurting yourself or not wanting to be alive, tell a parent or trusted adult right away.

Think about it: If you left Jesus, where would you go? What would you be hoping to find there?

Go deeper: C. S. Lewis (For Teens) — between the ages of twelve and fourteen, Lewis quietly stopped believing, partly because he had made prayer about producing the right feelings; this chapter tells how it happened, and hints at the friendship through which he would one day tell the story of his return. Start with chapter 3, “A Faith Let Go”.