How Should I Treat Friends of Other Religions?

The short answer: With love, respect and real friendship. You can be honest that you believe Jesus is the only way to God and still be a kind, interested, loyal friend to people who believe something different. Never mock what they hold sacred, and never treat them as a project.

At school you might sit next to a Muslim friend who fasts during Ramadan, a Hindu friend who celebrates Diwali, a Sikh friend who wears a turban, a Jewish friend or a Buddhist one. You might wonder: am I allowed to be close friends with them? Should I try to convert them? What if they ask me about my faith, or invite me to something at their place of worship?

(Book 1 answered whether all religions are basically the same. This chapter is about the relationships.)

Love first, always

When an expert in the law asked Jesus what he must do, Jesus agreed with him that the heart of it all is to love God and to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). Then He told the story of the Good Samaritan, a man from a different and despised religious group who showed mercy to a stranger. Jesus ended, “Go and do likewise” (Luke 10:37).

Jesus Himself crossed religious lines. He asked a Samaritan woman for a drink, which surprised her because “Jews do not associate with Samaritans” (John 4:9). He talked with her honestly about God, and He treated her with dignity.

Peter puts it simply: “Treat everyone with high regard” (1 Peter 2:17). Everyone. Your friends of other faiths are made in the image of God, deeply loved by Him, and worth your time and respect.

No contempt

Never mock someone’s religion, their holy book, their prophet, their food laws, their clothing or their prayers. That’s true even in jokes, even when they’re not around, and even online. “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31). You wouldn’t want someone sneering at Jesus or at your church. Don’t sneer at what they hold sacred.

When Paul visited Athens, a city full of idols that troubled him deeply, he didn’t open with insults. He said, “Men of Athens, I see that in every way you are very religious” (Acts 17:22), and he started from something they already knew, an altar “TO AN UNKNOWN GOD” (Acts 17:23). He disagreed with them profoundly, and he still spoke respectfully.

Be curious

Ask your friends what they believe and why. What does their faith mean to them? What do they pray for? What are their festivals about? Then listen properly, without just waiting for your turn to talk. You’ll understand them better, and they’ll feel respected. You may also find that they take their faith more seriously than many Christians do, and that may challenge you.

Be honest too

Real friendship doesn’t mean pretending you agree. You believe Jesus is God the Son, who died and rose again, and that He is the way to the Father. Your friends will usually respect you more for saying so kindly than for hiding it. Paul’s advice works well here: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6). Gracious, but with some flavour.

If they ask about Jesus, tell them what He means to you. Invite them to read a Gospel or come to something at church, and accept a “no” without sulking. And if they want to tell you about their faith, listen respectfully. You can be secure enough in Jesus to hear another view without feeling threatened.

Some practical wisdom

• Visiting their festivals or homes. Sharing a meal or celebrating a friend’s family occasion is usually a kind thing to do. If you’re unsure whether to join in an act of worship, talk to your parents or youth leader first. You can be present and respectful without praying to another god.
• Don’t be a salesperson. If you’re only friends with someone to convert them, they’ll feel it. Be their friend because you like them.
• Stand up for them. If someone at school mocks or bullies them because of their religion, be the one who steps in or tells a teacher.

Think about it: Do you have a friend of another faith? What is one question you could ask them this week, and really listen to the answer?

Go deeper: Portraits of Courage – Samuel Ajayi Crowther — Africa’s first Anglican bishop told his clergy not to dispute with Muslims or to censure the worshippers of the old gods as stupid, but to deal with them in “sympathy and love”, to preach Christ plainly and leave the results to God, and never to compel anyone. Start with chapter 16, “Sympathy with All Classes”.