Passing It On

Every parent teaches their children about money, whether they mean to or not. Children watch how we spend. They listen to how we talk about money: whether we worry about it, argue about it, complain about it, or thank God for it. They notice whether we give, and how cheerfully. By the time they are adults, many of their money habits will have been formed at home.

That’s a sobering thought. It is also a great opportunity.

Teach them at home

Moses told Israel to make God’s commands part of everyday family life:

“Keep these words that I am commanding you today close to your heart. Teach them carefully to your children, and speak of them as you sit in your house and as you go on your way, as you lie down and as you rise.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

Notice where the teaching happens: at home, on the road, at bedtime, at breakfast. Not mainly in formal lessons, but in the ordinary rhythms of life. That’s how children learn about money too. They learn in the supermarket, in the car, when the bills come in, when the offering plate goes round.

And notice the order: “Keep these words that I am commanding you today close to your heart” first, then “Teach them carefully to your children.” You can’t pass on what you don’t have. The best thing you can do to teach your children about money is to live it yourself.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not leave it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

What to teach

Here are some lessons every child needs to learn about money.

God owns everything. Start with Psalm 24:1. Even a small child can understand that the world belongs to God and that He has given us what we have.

Work is good. Let children earn money by doing jobs around the house or neighbourhood. Help them feel the dignity and satisfaction of earning.

Give first. When a child receives money, help them set aside a portion for God first. Many families use three jars or envelopes: Give, Save, Spend. Let children choose where their giving goes, and let them see the difference it makes.

Save for something. Help them save up for something they want, so they learn patience and the joy of waiting.

Spend wisely. Let them make choices, and sometimes mistakes, with small amounts. A child who wastes ten pounds on something that breaks the next day learns a lesson that will save them much more later.

Contentment. Talk about adverts and how they try to make us want things. Practise gratitude together. Help them see how much they already have.

Debt is dangerous. Older children and teenagers need to understand how interest works and how quickly debt can grow. Many young adults fall into debt simply because nobody ever explained it to them.

Care for the poor. Involve children in serving and giving to people in need. Let them see poverty, gently and appropriately, and see your compassion.

Model it

Children learn more from what we do than from what we say. If you tell your children to give but they never see you give, they will learn that giving is something you talk about, not something you do. If you tell them not to worry but they hear you worrying about money every night, they will learn to worry.

Consider letting your children see your giving. That might seem to go against Jesus’ teaching about secrecy, but there is a difference between showing off to the world and training your children. Explain to them why you give, how you decide how much, and what it means to you. Let them see you pray about money. Let them see you choose not to buy something because it isn’t in the plan.

And if your own money habits have been poor, it isn’t too late. Your children can learn a great deal from watching you change. Tell them honestly: “I haven’t always handled money well, but I’m learning to do it God’s way.” That might be the most powerful lesson of all.

Wesley’s advice

John Wesley spoke directly to parents in his sermons. His advice was strong, but wise:

“Instil into them, as early as possible, a fear and contempt of pomp and grandeur; an abhorrence and dread of the love of money; and a deep conviction; that riches cannot give happiness.”

Notice what he wants children to learn: not fear of money, but fear of the love of money. Not contempt for work, but contempt for showing off. And a deep conviction that riches can’t make you happy.

Leave an inheritance

“A good person leaves an inheritance to their grandchildren” (Proverbs 13:22). For some families, that will include money or property, and it is wise to plan for it carefully, with a will and with prayer. Too much inheritance, received too early, can harm a child: “An inheritance grabbed too early will not be blessed in the end” (Proverbs 20:21). Many wise Christian parents leave a good share of their estate to God’s work, as a final act of stewardship.

But the greatest inheritance is not money. It is faith. Paul reminded Timothy of the sincere faith that had lived first in his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice, and now in him. That is the inheritance that matters most. A child who learns to trust God, to work hard, to give generously and to be content has been left something worth far more than any estate.

Not only parents

This chapter isn’t just for parents. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, godparents, youth leaders, teachers and older friends can all help young people learn to handle money God’s way. The church is a family, and every older believer has something to pass on to someone younger.

A voice from the past

Susanna Wesley gave birth to nineteen children, and nine of them died as babies. She raised the others in a poor country rectory, with debts that never seemed to go away and a fire that burned the house down. She knew money trouble from the inside, and she taught her children about it. When her son John was a young student at Oxford, she wrote to him:

“I wish you would save all the money you can conveniently spare, not to spend on a visit, but for a wiser and better purpose — to pay debts, and make yourself easy.”

Susanna Wesley, in a letter to her son John

Out of that struggling home came John and Charles Wesley, who helped change a nation. John grew up to be the man who preached “Give all you can,” and he gave away a fortune.

Practice this week

If you have children at home, introduce the Give, Save, Spend jars or envelopes this week, and talk about why you give. If you don’t, think of one young person you could encourage or mentor in handling money, and look for a natural opportunity to share something you have learned.

For groups

• What did you learn about money from your parents, for good or bad?
• Which lessons in this chapter do you most wish you had learned as a child?
• How can parents show their children their giving without breaking Jesus’ teaching about giving secretly?
• What is the most valuable inheritance you could leave the next generation?