Leader’s guide · 12 weeks

Leader’s guide: Elisabeth Elliot (For Children)

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This guide walks a Sunday school class, homeschool group or family through “Elisabeth Elliot (For Children)” in twelve weeks, one chapter a week. It tells the true story of Betty Howard, a shy girl who learned Greek to give people the Bible, lost her husband Jim in the rainforest of Ecuador, and then went to live among the Waorani people with her little daughter. It works for a family around the table or a class of up to twenty, and is best for ages 8–12.

Each session takes about 30 minutes. Welcome everyone and say the memory verse together (3 minutes). Read the chapter aloud (5–7 minutes). Talk together using the chapter’s three questions (5–10 minutes). Do the activity (10 minutes). Close by praying the chapter’s prayer, or your own (2 minutes).

To prepare, read the chapter yourself beforehand so nothing in it takes you by surprise, and have paper, pencils and crayons ready. Some chapters are sad, above all week 8, when Jim and his four friends are killed, so read the book’s own gentle words calmly, answer questions simply and truthfully without adding detail, never act those events out, speak of the Waorani as real people rather than villains, and keep coming back to the book’s own point: God was with Betty in the sad days and helped her to forgive.

Week 1 — A Girl Called Betty

Betty Howard is born in Brussels in 1926 to American missionary parents, and grows up in Philadelphia and then Moorestown, New Jersey, the second of six children in a busy, careful household. Twice every day the family sings a hymn, reads the Bible and prays, and missionaries often come to stay; summers in Franconia, New Hampshire, give shy, bookish Betty the place she loved most. The big idea: our parents cannot make us love God, but the words of God we learn when we are young can stay in our hearts all our lives.

“These words shall be in your heart. Teach them to your children, when you sit in your house and when you walk along the way.” — from Deuteronomy 6

Memory verse

I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Psalm 119:11

Talk together

  1. Where was Betty born, and why was her family there?

    In Brussels, in Belgium, in 1926. Her parents were American missionaries who had gone there to tell people about Jesus.

  2. What did the Howard family do together twice every day?

    They worshipped God together. They sang a hymn, their father read the Bible, and he prayed for each child by name and for missionaries all over the world.

  3. Is there a Bible verse or a song about God that you know by heart?

    Any honest answer is good. Betty learned God’s words when she was young, and they stayed in her heart all her life. Yours can too.

Activity

Words in My Heart

You will need: Paper and crayons or pencils

  1. Draw a big heart that fills most of your page.
  2. Inside it, write a Bible verse or a line of a song about God that you already know, or this week’s memory verse.
  3. Decorate the edges with things Betty loved in Franconia, such as hills, trees, berries and birds.
  4. Say your verse quietly to a neighbour, then take the heart home to keep.

Pray

Dear God, thank you for the people who teach me about you. Please put your words deep in my heart, so that I remember them all my life. Amen.

Read chapter 1

Week 2 — Learning to Be Brave

At fourteen Betty goes to a strict Christian boarding school in Florida, where the headmistress, Mrs. DuBose, tells her that shyness is nothing to be proud of and she must learn to look outward. Little by little Betty learns to stand up straight, speak to strangers and talk to a crowd, and she grows to love the books of the missionary Amy Carmichael. By 1944 she knows she wants to translate the Bible into languages that have never had it. The big idea: being brave does not mean never feeling afraid; it means doing the kind thing even when you feel shy.

“No training seems happy at the time; it seems hard. But afterward it brings a good harvest.” — from Hebrews 12

Memory verse

For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7

Talk together

  1. What did Mrs. DuBose teach Betty about being shy?

    That she must not stay wrapped up in her shyness, but learn to look outward, notice other people and put them at their ease.

  2. Whose books did Betty hear read aloud at school?

    The books of Amy Carmichael, a missionary in India. Betty later spoke of her as her first spiritual mother, and wrote a book about her life.

  3. What is something that feels hard for you right now?

    Any honest answer is good. Betty found her school hard, but God used it to help her grow. He can use hard things in your life too.

Activity

Look Outward

You will need: Nothing

  1. Pair children up, with a leader joining any pair that needs one.
  2. Take turns: look your partner in the eye, smile, say hello and ask one friendly question, such as “What is your favourite animal?”
  3. Listen carefully to the answer, then swap so the other person asks.
  4. Go round the circle and introduce your partner to the group with the one thing you learned. Anyone who feels too shy may whisper it to a leader instead.

Pray

Dear God, when I feel shy or afraid, please help me to be brave. Help me to notice other people and to be kind to them. Amen.

Read chapter 2

Week 3 — Greek and a Boy Named Jim

Betty goes to Wheaton College in 1944 and chooses to study Greek, because the New Testament was first written in Greek and she wants to translate the Bible one day. A year later Jim Elliot arrives: strong, outspoken, funny, a wrestler who loves Jesus and is best friends with Betty’s brother Dave; after Christmas 1947 at the Howards’ house, Betty and Jim study Greek together. The big idea: careful, hard work, even schoolwork, can be a way of serving God.

“Work hard to be someone God is pleased with, who handles the word of truth well.” — from 2 Timothy 2

Memory verse

Give diligence to present yourself approved by God, a workman who doesn’t need to be ashamed, properly handling the Word of Truth.

2 Timothy 2:15

Talk together

  1. Why did Betty choose to study Greek?

    Because the New Testament was first written in Greek, and she wanted to read it in its first language so she could translate the Bible one day.

  2. How did Betty get to know Jim Elliot?

    Jim was her brother Dave’s best friend. He came to the Howards’ house for Christmas in 1947, and then he and Betty studied Greek together.

  3. What is one thing you could do carefully and well for God this week?

    Any answer is good. Betty’s hard work at Greek was a way of serving God, and so can our work be, even our homework.

Activity

Write Like Betty

You will need: Paper and pencils (the leader writes the letters large on one sheet beforehand)

  1. Show the group a few Greek letters the leader has written out large: α (alpha), β (beta), γ (gamma), δ (delta) and Ω (omega).
  2. Copy each letter slowly and neatly, saying its name aloud as you write it.
  3. Try writing the first letter of your own name in English and then in the Greek letter that sounds most like it.
  4. Talk about why Betty worked so hard at Greek, and name one piece of work you will do carefully for God this week.

Pray

Dear God, help me to work hard at the things I learn, and to do them well for you. Thank you for good friends who love you. Amen.

Read chapter 3

Week 4 — A Shadow Like a Cross

In 1948 Betty and Jim begin to love each other, but Jim is not sure God wants him to marry, so on a June evening walk they tell each other how they feel and decide to give their love back to God, like Abraham offering Isaac. As they talk, the rising moon throws the shadow of a stone cross on the ground between them, and years of waiting follow, with letters but no promise. The big idea: giving the things we want most to God does not mean we stop caring; it means we trust him to know what is best while we wait.

“Give your whole selves to God, as a living gift, holy and pleasing to him.” — from Romans 12

Memory verse

Commit your way to the LORD. Trust also in him, and he will do this.

Psalm 37:5

Talk together

  1. What did Betty and Jim decide to do with their love for each other?

    They decided to give it back to God, like Abraham offering Isaac, and to trust God with what happened next.

  2. What did they see on the ground between them during their walk?

    The shadow of a big stone cross, made by the moon rising behind them. It reminded them that their love was under the cross of Jesus.

  3. Is there something you are waiting for right now?

    Any honest answer is good. Betty had to wait a long time. Giving what we want to God means trusting him to know what is best.

Activity

The Shadow of the Cross

You will need: Paper and crayons

  1. Draw a night sky with a big round moon low on one side of your page.
  2. Draw a cross, and colour its long dark shadow stretching across the ground.
  3. Somewhere in the picture, draw or write something you are waiting for. This part is just between you and God.
  4. Write “I trust you, God” along the shadow, and take your picture home.

Pray

Dear God, when I have to wait for something I want, help me to trust you. I give you the things I care about most. Amen.

Read chapter 4

Week 5 — The Lost Suitcase

Jim sails to Ecuador in 1952, and Betty follows as a missionary in her own right, learning Spanish in Quito and then working among the Colorado people, whose language has never been written down. Her helper Macario, who loves Jesus, is killed in a quarrel over land, and soon afterwards the suitcase holding almost all her language notes is stolen and never found. Betty asks God why, gets no answer, and decides to keep trusting him. Handle Macario’s death simply, in the chapter’s own few words, and move on to Betty’s response. The big idea: God does not always tell us why things go wrong, but we can be honest with him and keep trusting him.

“My thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways, says the Lord.” — from Isaiah 55

Memory verse

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD.

Isaiah 55:8

Talk together

  1. Who was Macario?

    A man who loved Jesus and spoke both Colorado and Spanish. He helped Betty learn and write down the Colorado language.

  2. What happened to Betty’s suitcase?

    It held almost all her language notes, and it was stolen from the back of a truck. It was never found, and there were no copies.

  3. What can you do when you do not understand why something sad has happened?

    Any honest answer is good. Betty told God how she felt and decided to keep trusting him, even without an answer.

Activity

Packing Betty’s Suitcase

You will need: Nothing

  1. Sit in a circle. The first person says, “I packed Betty’s suitcase, and in it I put…” and names one thing, such as “a notebook.”
  2. The next person repeats the list and adds one more thing, and so on round the circle.
  3. Keep going until the list is too long to remember, then laugh about how much there was.
  4. Talk about how Betty felt when all her notes were lost, and say the memory verse together as a reminder that God’s ways are higher than ours.

Pray

Dear God, when things go wrong and I do not understand why, help me to keep trusting you. Thank you that your ways are higher than mine. Amen.

Read chapter 5

Week 6 — A Wedding and a Tent

In 1953 Jim asks Betty to marry him, but first asks her to learn Quichua, the language of the people he works among; she does, and they marry in a simple government-office wedding in Quito on Jim’s twenty-sixth birthday. Their first home is a rainy, insect-filled tent at Puyupungu, then a house at Shandia, where Jim preaches and teaches and Betty nurses the sick and works on the language; Valerie is born in 1955. The big idea: God makes us different on purpose and gives each of us gifts so we can help one another.

“Two are better than one, because they can help each other in their work.” — from Ecclesiastes 4

Memory verse

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.

Ecclesiastes 4:9

Talk together

  1. What did Jim ask Betty to do before they married?

    To learn Quichua, the language of the people he worked among, so she could talk with them and share the work.

  2. What was Jim and Betty’s first home like?

    It was a tent at Puyupungu, in the rainy forest, full of insects, where they cooked over a fire while a building went up.

  3. What is a gift God has given you that you could use to help someone?

    Any answer is good. Jim was a preacher and Betty was a careful writer. God gives each of us different gifts so we can help one another.

Activity

Two Are Better Than One

You will need: Paper and pencils or crayons

  1. Get into pairs and sit back to back, with one sheet of paper for the drawer.
  2. One partner describes Jim and Betty’s first home, a tent in the rainy forest, one piece at a time, while the other draws it without peeking.
  3. Swap jobs and describe the house at Shandia instead.
  4. Look at your pictures together and tell your partner one gift you noticed in them, such as explaining well or drawing carefully.

Pray

Dear God, thank you for my family and my friends. Thank you for the gifts you have given each of us. Help us to use them to help one another. Amen.

Read chapter 6

Week 7 — Gifts from the Sky

Deep in the forest live the Waorani, whose name means “the people”; they have always lived apart and are very afraid of outsiders. Jim and four friends, Pete Fleming, Ed McCully, Roger Youderian and the pilot Nate Saint, send down gifts in a bucket from Nate’s circling plane, the Waorani send gifts back, and in January 1956 the men land at “Palm Beach” on the Curaray River, where three Waorani spend a friendly day with them. Present the Waorani respectfully, as a people with their own homes and ways, not as strange or frightening. The big idea: there are still people who have never heard about Jesus, and we can pray for them and tell others.

“How can they believe in him if they have not heard of him? And how can they hear unless someone tells them?” — from Romans 10

Memory verse

How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in him whom they have not heard? How will they hear without a preacher?

Romans 10:14

Talk together

  1. How did Nate Saint send presents to the Waorani?

    He let down a bucket on a long rope while his plane flew in tight circles, so it hung almost still over the Waorani houses.

  2. Who came out of the forest on Friday, 6 January 1956?

    Three Waorani: a young man, a young woman and an older woman. They spent most of the day with the missionaries, and the young man rode in the plane.

  3. Who could you pray for who has not heard about Jesus?

    Any answer is good. Jim and his friends wanted people who had never heard to know about Jesus, and we can pray for them too.

Activity

Prayer Around the World

You will need: One large sheet of paper and crayons

  1. Draw a big circle on the sheet to be the world, and colour some land and sea together.
  2. Each child adds a small smiling person somewhere on the world, with a heart beside them.
  3. Talk about how Jim and his friends longed for people who had never heard to know about Jesus.
  4. Go round the circle and let anyone who wants to pray one short sentence for people everywhere to hear about God’s love.

Pray

Dear Jesus, thank you for people who go far away to tell others about you. Please help everyone in the world to hear about your love. Amen.

Read chapter 7

Week 8 — The Day the Radio Went Quiet

On 8 January 1956 the radio at Palm Beach goes silent, and after days of searching the news is certain: Waorani men, frightened by a false story that the strangers had attacked their people, have killed all five missionaries, who had agreed not to use their guns. Betty, twenty-nine, with ten-month-old Valerie, is very sad but keeps trusting God, goes back to Shandia and carries on the work, holding to the old saying “Do the next thing.” This is the hardest chapter: read it slowly in the book’s own words, add no detail, never act it out, let children ask questions and answer simply, and remind them the Waorani acted out of fear. The big idea: when something very sad happens, God is with us, and we can hold his hand and do the next thing, one day at a time.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. The rivers will not sweep over you.” — from Isaiah 43

Memory verse

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.

Isaiah 43:2

Talk together

  1. What did Betty do after Jim died, instead of going home?

    She took baby Valerie back to Shandia and carried on Jim’s work with the Quichua people.

  2. What were the four words of the old poem Betty loved?

    “Doe the nexte thynge,” in old-fashioned spelling. It means: do the next thing in front of you and leave the rest to God.

  3. What is a “next thing” you can do when you feel sad or worried?

    Any honest answer is good. Betty did not have to understand everything. She trusted God and did the next thing, one day at a time.

Activity

The Next Thing

You will need: Paper and crayons or pencils

  1. Draw a path of five stepping stones across your page, crossing a river.
  2. On each stone, draw or write one small “next thing” you could do on a sad or worried day, such as saying a prayer, getting dressed, helping at home or talking to a grown-up.
  3. On the far bank, draw a big hand reaching out to remind you that God holds your hand.
  4. Keep your picture private and take it home. You do not need to share it.

Pray

Dear God, thank you that you are with me even when I am very sad. When I do not know what to do, help me to trust you and do the next thing. Amen.

Read chapter 8

Week 9 — Two Women from the Forest

In November 1957 two Waorani women, Mankamu and Mintaka (who had visited the beach days before the men died), walk out of the forest, and Betty takes them into her home at Shandia for ten months, caring for them and learning their very hard language. Dayuma, a Waorani woman who had lived among the Quichua, returns with Rachel Saint, and in September 1958 the three women walk home to their people and come back with an invitation for Betty and Rachel to come and live among the Waorani. The big idea: God can open doors that no one else can open, often through simple kindness.

“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know. I will turn the darkness into light before them.” — from Isaiah 42

Memory verse

A man’s heart plans his course, but the LORD directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Talk together

  1. Who was Mintaka?

    One of the two Waorani women who came out of the forest. She was the older woman who had visited the five missionaries on the beach.

  2. What invitation did the Waorani bring back?

    They asked Betty and Rachel Saint to come and live among them.

  3. How could you be kind to someone who is new or a stranger?

    Any answer is good. Betty opened her home to two women from the forest, and God used her kindness to open a door.

Activity

A Door Only God Could Open

You will need: Paper and crayons

  1. Fold a sheet of paper in half from side to side, like a door that opens.
  2. On the outside, draw a closed door with trees and forest around it.
  3. Open it, and inside draw people welcoming each other, with a table, a home and friendly faces.
  4. Write “God opens doors” at the top, and think of one person who is new or a stranger you could be kind to this week.

Pray

Dear God, thank you that you can open doors that no one else can open. Help me to be kind to strangers, like Betty was. Amen.

Read chapter 9

Week 10 — Into the Forest with Valerie

In October 1958 Betty, three-year-old Valerie and Rachel Saint walk into the forest and reach a Waorani clearing beside the Tiwaeno River on what would have been Jim’s thirty-first birthday. The Waorani name Betty Gikari, “woodpecker,” Valerie plays with the children and learns their language, and Betty meets the men who had been on the beach, sees that they are not monsters but frightened people, and does not hate them, having decided to forgive before she came; in time some of them follow Jesus. Speak of the Waorani way of life with respect, as the chapter does; avoid any dressing-up or pretend “forest” play. The big idea: God can help us love and forgive even people who have hurt us, and do good to them.

“Do not let evil win over you. Win over evil by doing good.” — from Romans 12

Memory verse

Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:21

Talk together

  1. What name did the Waorani give Betty?

    Gikari, which means “woodpecker.”

  2. What happened to some of the men who had been on the beach?

    Over the years some of them came to follow Jesus. Two of them later baptised Nate Saint’s son and daughter in the river near the beach.

  3. Is there someone you need God’s help to forgive?

    Any honest answer is good. Forgiving is hard, but God can help us, and doing good to others shows them his love.

Activity

Overcome Evil with Good

You will need: Paper and crayons

  1. Draw a small grey rain cloud in one corner of your page.
  2. Draw a big bright sun shining across the rest of the page, with long rays.
  3. On each ray, write or draw one good, kind thing a person could do, even for someone who has been unkind.
  4. Write the memory verse across the bottom, and keep your picture as a reminder. You do not need to say who you are thinking of.

Pray

Dear Jesus, it is hard to love people who have hurt me. Please help me to forgive, and to do good to them, like Betty did. Amen.

Read chapter 10

Week 11 — Honest Questions, Hard Goodbyes

Late in 1961 Betty leaves the Waorani, partly because she and Rachel Saint found it hard to work together, and in 1963 she and Valerie settle in Franconia. Famous now, she refuses to tell a neat, perfect story and writes honestly about her questions, which upsets some readers but helps many. In 1969 she marries Addison Leitch and has happy years, until he dies of cancer in 1973 and she is widowed a second time. Be ready for children who think of someone ill or someone they have lost, and keep any sharing voluntary. The big idea: God does not want us to pretend; we can pour out everything in our hearts to him, because he is our safe place.

“Trust in God at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our safe place.” — from Psalm 62

Memory verse

Trust in him at all times, you people. Pour out your heart before him. God is a refuge for us.

Psalm 62:8

Talk together

  1. Where did Betty and Valerie live when they came back to America?

    In Franconia, New Hampshire, among the mountains where Betty had spent her summers as a girl.

  2. Why were some readers upset by Betty’s later books?

    Because she wrote honestly about her questions and the things she did not understand, instead of telling a story where everything turned out perfectly.

  3. What is something you would like to tell God honestly today?

    Any honest answer is good. God wants us to pour out our hearts to him, questions and all, because he is our safe place.

Activity

A Letter to My Safe Place

You will need: Paper and pencils

  1. At the top of a sheet of paper, write “Dear God.”
  2. Write or draw honestly anything you would like to tell God: a question, a worry, something sad or something happy.
  3. Finish with “Thank you that you are my safe place” and sign your name.
  4. Fold the letter closed and take it home. No one else will read it.

Pray

Dear God, thank you that I can tell you everything, even my questions and my sad feelings. Thank you that you are my safe place. Amen.

Read chapter 11

Week 12 — The Everlasting Arms

Betty marries Lars Gren in 1977, becomes a grandmother of a big family, keeps writing, and from 1988 speaks on her radio programme Gateway to Joy, which always begins with two Bible promises: God’s everlasting love and his everlasting arms underneath us. She teaches that small jobs done well for God are a way of loving him. In old age dementia takes away her memory and speech, Lars cares for her, and she dies at home in 2015. Some children may know someone with dementia, so speak of it gently. The big idea: we are precious to God not because of what we can do, but because we are his.

“Even when you are old and your hair is grey, I will carry you.” — from Isaiah 46

Memory verse

And even to old age I am he, and even to gray hairs will I carry you. I have made, and I will bear; yes, I will carry, and will deliver.

Isaiah 46:4

Talk together

  1. How did every Gateway to Joy radio programme begin?

    Betty reminded her listeners that God loved them with an everlasting love, and that underneath them were his everlasting arms.

  2. What ordinary things did Betty talk about on the radio?

    Things like washing dishes, being on time, answering letters and getting up in the morning. She believed small jobs done well for God are a way of loving him.

  3. Why are you precious to God?

    Any honest answer is good. God loves you not because of what you can do, but because you are his, and his everlasting arms hold you.

Activity

Small Jobs for God

You will need: Nothing

  1. Take turns acting out an ordinary job without words, such as washing dishes, making a bed, writing a letter or tidying toys.
  2. Everyone else guesses the job.
  3. When someone guesses right, the whole group says together, “Done well, for God!”
  4. Finish by saying the memory verse, and remember that God loves you just as much on days you can’t do anything at all.

Pray

Dear God, thank you for Betty Elliot and all that you did through her life. Thank you that you love me with an everlasting love, and that your arms are always underneath me. Amen.

Read chapter 12