Day 17 — Gossip

“A perverse man spreads dissension, and a gossip divides close friends.”

— Proverbs 16:28 (BSB)

“A gossip reveals a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.”

— Proverbs 11:13 (BSB)

There’s an old story about a man who spread a rumor about his neighbor. Later, he felt bad and asked a wise teacher how to make it right. The teacher said, “Take a feather pillow, go to the top of the hill, cut it open and let the feathers blow away in the wind.” The man did it. Then the teacher said, “Now go and gather up every single feather.” The man said, “That’s impossible! They’ve blown everywhere.” And the teacher said, “So it is with your words. Once they’re out, you can never get them all back.”

That’s what gossip is like. Gossip is talking about other people behind their backs, especially spreading things that are unkind, private or maybe not even true. It often starts with, “Did you hear about…?” or “Don’t tell anyone, but…”

Gossip can feel exciting. Knowing a secret can make you feel important, like you’re in on something. But Proverbs tells us what gossip really does: it “divides close friends.” It breaks trust, hurts feelings and splits friendships apart. Maybe you’ve even seen it happen at your school.

The second verse gives us the opposite: “a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.” A confidence is something someone told you privately. A trustworthy friend doesn’t blab it to everyone.

Here are a few questions to ask before you talk about someone who isn’t there:

• Is it true?
• Is it kind?
• Is it necessary?
• Would I say it if they were standing right here?

If the answer to any of these is no, keep it to yourself.

And what if someone starts gossiping to you? You can change the subject, walk away, or even say something kind about the person being talked about.

One important thing: keeping a confidence doesn’t mean keeping secrets that are dangerous. If a friend tells you someone is hurting them, or that they might hurt themselves, you should always tell a trusted adult. That’s not gossip. That’s love.

Think about it: Why do you think gossip is so tempting? How does it feel when someone gossips about you?

Try this: The next time you hear gossip, try one of these: change the subject, walk away or say something kind about the person.

Dear God, forgive me for the times I’ve gossiped or listened to gossip. Help me be a trustworthy friend who keeps confidences. Before I talk about others, help me ask if it’s true, kind and necessary. Guard my friendships. In Jesus’ name, Amen.