Day 12 — Real Men Cry

“You have taken account of my wanderings. Put my tears in Your bottle—are they not in Your book?”

— Psalm 56:8 (BSB)

“Boys don’t cry.” “Man up.” “Stop being a baby.” “Walk it off.”

Lots of guys hear things like that. And many guys learn to hide their feelings. They act like nothing bothers them. They keep sadness, fear and hurt locked up inside. Sometimes the only feeling they let show is anger.

But that’s not what the Bible teaches.

David, the giant-killer and warrior king, cried a lot. He cried when his best friend Jonathan died. He cried when his son was killed. He cried when he had sinned. He wrote songs full of tears. In today’s verse, he says to God, “Put my tears in Your bottle.” In those days, people sometimes collected precious things in little bottles. David was saying, God, my tears matter to You. You save every one.

And then there’s Jesus. When His friend Lazarus died, “Jesus wept.” When He looked over Jerusalem and saw how the people had rejected God, He cried over the city. In the garden before His arrest, He was so upset that He prayed with loud cries and tears.

If David cried and Jesus cried, then crying isn’t weak. Real men cry.

Feelings aren’t bad. God gave them to you. Sadness, fear, loneliness and hurt are all normal parts of being human. Hiding them doesn’t make them go away. It just makes them heavier, and sometimes it makes them come out in other ways, like anger or bad choices.

Here’s what God wants you to know:

• You can tell God how you really feel. He already knows, and He cares.
• You can talk to someone you trust, like your dad or mom, a grandparent, a coach or a youth leader.
• It’s okay to cry. It’s not weak. It’s human.
• God keeps track of every tear. None of your sadness is invisible to Him.

Being a strong man doesn’t mean feeling nothing. It means being honest about what you feel, and bringing it to God.

A true story: Festo Kivengere was a preacher in Uganda when a cruel ruler named Idi Amin took over. Amin’s soldiers killed many people, including Festo’s close friend, Archbishop Janani Luwum. Festo and his wife had to escape at night, climbing over the mountains to safety. He had lost his home and his friend, and it hurt terribly. Anyone would have understood if he hated Amin. But Festo remembered Jesus praying from the cross, “Father, forgive them,” and he chose love instead of hate. He even wrote a book called I Love Idi Amin. That didn’t mean the cruel things were okay. It meant hate wouldn’t rule his heart. That’s strength under control. You can read his whole story in Brave for God.

Think about it: Why do you think many guys are taught to hide their feelings? What might happen if you hide them for a long time?

Try this: Tell God honestly about one feeling you’ve been hiding. Then think of one trusted person you could talk to about it too.

Dear God, thank You that my tears matter to You, and that You keep track of every one. Help me be honest with You about how I feel. Thank You that even Jesus cried. Help me be a real man like Him. In Jesus’ name, Amen.