Day 2 — Blowing Up

“A fool vents all his anger, but a wise man holds it back.”

— Proverbs 29:11 (BSB)

You’ve been working on a LEGO build for hours, and your little brother knocks it over. Your team loses because the ref made a terrible call. Your friend tells everyone something you told him in secret. Your mom says you can’t go, and you don’t think it’s fair.

And you feel it: the heat rising in your chest, your fists clenching, your face getting red. You want to yell, hit something, throw something, or say the meanest thing you can think of.

As guys grow up, many of them notice that their anger seems to get bigger and come faster. (Next week, you’ll learn one reason why.) That’s normal. But what you do with that anger really matters.

Proverbs says: “A fool vents all his anger, but a wise man holds it back.”

To vent means to let it all out, like steam blasting from a pot. The fool lets his anger explode on whoever is nearby. He yells, slams, punches or says things he can never take back. And afterward, there’s usually a mess to clean up: hurt people, broken things, lost friends and trouble.

The wise man holds it back. That doesn’t mean he pretends he isn’t angry, or stuffs it down forever. It means he’s the boss of his anger, instead of his anger being the boss of him. He waits. He cools down. He thinks. And then he deals with the problem in a good way.

Here’s a plan for when you feel yourself about to blow:

1. Stop. Don’t say or do anything yet.
2. Step away. Go to your room, go outside, walk around the block (tell someone where you’re going).
3. Burn it off. Shoot hoops, run, do push-ups, or hit a pillow, never a person.
4. Breathe and pray. God, I’m really mad right now. Help me.
5. Then deal with it. Talk it out calmly, ask a grown-up for help, forgive, or let it go.

You won’t get this right every time. When you do blow up, go back and say sorry. That’s what a wise man does too.

Think about it: What makes you angriest? What usually happens when you vent all your anger?

Try this: Pick your “burn it off” move ahead of time, something you’ll do next time you’re about to blow. Tell a parent your plan.

Dear God, when I get angry, help me be wise instead of foolish. Help me stop, step away and cool down before I say or do something I’ll regret. Make me the boss of my anger, and help me say sorry when I get it wrong. In Jesus’ name, Amen.