When the Beloved Hides

By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. SONG OF SOLOMON 3:1

Anyone who begins to pray seriously meets two enemies within the first week. The first is distraction: the mind that will not stay still, that wanders to the shopping, the quarrel, the unpaid bill, the song that will not leave. The second, which comes a little later, is dryness: the sense that God is absent, that prayer is empty, that nothing is happening and perhaps never did. Madame Guyon knew both intimately, and some of the most practical pages of A Short and Easy Method of Prayer are about them.

Do not fight the distractions

Her counsel on distraction is surprising, and it works. Most of us, when we notice that our mind has wandered in prayer, try to fight the stray thought directly. We tell ourselves sternly not to think about it. We grit our teeth. The thought, of course, grows stronger for the attention.

She says: do not fight it. Those who try to oppose distractions directly, she observes, only irritate and increase them. Instead, turn away from them and turn again to God. By losing ourselves in the thought of a present God, she says, we combat distractions indirectly, without thinking of them, but effectively.

Her picture for this is a child. A little child who sees a fierce animal coming towards it does not stay to fight it, or even look at it; it runs to its mother’s arms, where it is safe. So the soul troubled by distraction or temptation should not stand and argue, but simply run to God.

Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child. PSALM 131:2

This is not a trick of concentration. It is an expression of the whole shape of her teaching: the heart is healed by looking at God, not by looking at itself. The practical effect is great. A person who has wandered fifty times in twenty minutes and returned fifty times has not failed to pray; they have prayed fifty times.

Do not be troubled at your faults

She applies the same counsel to failure in the Christian life more generally. When we fall into a fault, she says, we must turn back to God at once. And we must not be anxious about it, because the anxiety springs from a secret pride and a love of our own excellence. “We are troubled at feeling what we are.”

That sentence repays a long look. Much of what passes for sorrow over sin is really wounded vanity. We are upset not because we have grieved God but because we had thought better of ourselves. A truly humble soul, she says, does not marvel at its weakness; the more it sees its wretchedness, the more it abandons itself to God and stays near Him.

For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. PSALM 103:14

Here, however, she needs a word of qualification. She goes on to say that reflection upon our faults produces a vexation which is worse than the sin itself. As pastoral counsel to the anxious and scrupulous, that is often exactly right; brooding over sin can become its own kind of self-absorption. But as a general principle it goes too far. Sin is an offence against God and often an injury to others, and it calls for real repentance, confession and, where needed, restitution. The remedy for morbid brooding is not to take sin lightly but to take the cross seriously: to confess plainly and believe the promise.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 JOHN 1:9

When God seems absent

Dryness is harder. Distraction is our wandering from God; dryness feels like God’s wandering from us. The sweetness goes out of prayer. The words seem to fall on an empty room. The psalmists knew it well.

How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? PSALM 13:1

Madame Guyon’s explanation is tender. God, she says, often hides Himself in order to arouse the soul and draw it to seek Him with love and faithfulness. He withdraws the feeling of His presence not because He has gone but to deepen our love, as a mother might step out of sight for a moment to teach a child to call for her. The Song of Songs, which she loved and expounded, is full of this seeking and finding.

What should the soul do? Not strain after the lost sweetness, she says, as if effort could bring it back. With loving patience, with humility, with a deep and restful affection and a respectful silence, it should wait for the return of the Beloved. By doing so, she says, “You will thus show Him that it is Himself alone that you love, and His good pleasure, and not the pleasure that you find in loving Him.”

Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God. ISAIAH 50:10

That is the test dryness brings. Do I love God, or do I love the way loving God makes me feel? The answer is shown not by what we feel but by whether we keep coming. She goes so far as to say: be patient in prayer, even if you should do nothing all your life but wait with a humble heart for the return of your Beloved.

It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. LAMENTATIONS 3:26

When dryness is something else

A word of care belongs here too. Not every dryness is God hiding Himself to draw us on. Sometimes it is the result of sin we have not dealt with. Sometimes it is exhaustion, illness or grief, and needs rest, food and friends more than spiritual interpretation. Sometimes it is depression, which deserves care and, often, help from others. Madame Guyon, who read every inward state as part of God’s purifying work, did not always make these distinctions, and her readers should. The loving patience she commends is right in every case; the explanation may differ.

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance. PSALM 42:5

With that said, her counsel stands. Do not fight distraction; turn to God. Do not brood over failure; confess it and return. Do not strain after lost sweetness; wait for the Lord, and keep coming.

FOR REFLECTION AND ACTION

1. In your next time of prayer, each time you notice your mind has wandered, turn back to God without scolding yourself. Count the returns as prayers.

2. Think of a recent failure that still troubles you. Is your trouble grief for God, or wounded pride? Confess it plainly and receive forgiveness.

3. If prayer is dry at present, keep your usual time anyway this week, telling God that you come for His sake.

4. Ask whether your dryness has a plain cause — unconfessed sin, exhaustion, grief — and deal with that cause.

5. Read Psalms 42 and 43 slowly as your own prayer.

A PRAYER

Lord, my mind wanders from You a hundred times an hour, and I am tired of fighting it.

Teach me simply to turn back to You, as a child runs to its mother, without anger at myself.

When You seem far away, keep me from leaving You. Let me wait for You patiently and love You for Yourself.

And if my dryness comes from sin, show it to me, and forgive me, and bring me home. Amen.