The Great Duty of Family Religion

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. JOSHUA 24:15

Whitefield spent his life in public — in pulpits, fields and crowded halls. It is striking, then, that one of his most careful sermons is about the most private of places: the home. The Great Duty of Family Religion, preached on Joshua’s famous resolution, argues that the church’s health depends on what happens in ordinary households when no preacher is present. A congregation is only as strong as its homes.

A little parish

Whitefield begins with a lament. Visit the churches, he says, and you may still see something of the form of godliness; but it is scarcely to be found in private houses. Were the angels to come and look at our homes, as they once visited Abraham’s tent, would they find the fear of God there? The early Christians did not think religion was confined to public worship. Paul speaks of the church in their house.

Likewise greet the church that is in their house. ROMANS 16:5

The head of a household, Whitefield argues, must act in three capacities: “as a prophet, to instruct: as a priest, to pray for and with; as a king, to govern, direct, and provide for them.” Most are diligent enough in the third, he observes drily; they provide for their families well and are, if anything, too anxious about it. It is the first two they neglect.

He presses the point with an image that stays in the mind: “every house is as it were a little parish.” We are quick to blame the minister who neglects his flock. But a parent who takes no thought for the souls in his care is guilty of the same fault on a smaller scale. Would we not think a pastor who said he had enough to do minding his own salvation without troubling about his people’s a strange kind of shepherd? And yet that is how many heads of households live.

Three means

Whitefield names three ways in which a household should serve the Lord together.

The first is reading the word of God. Moses commanded Israel to teach God’s words diligently to their children, to talk of them when sitting in the house and walking by the way. Children and servants, says Whitefield, are often ignorant of God’s law; who is more fitted to teach them than those they live with every day?

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. DEUTERONOMY 6:6–7

The second is family prayer. Reading prepares for prayer, and prayer makes reading effectual. Every family has common blessings to give thanks for, common troubles to pray against and common sins to confess; how can this be done without praying together? Christ prayed with His disciples, His little family, and promised His presence where two or three are gathered in His name. Whitefield concludes sharply that those who live without family prayer may well be living without God in the world.

The third is catechising — patiently instructing children and others in the household in the principles of the faith. God said of Abraham that He knew he would command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. PROVERBS 22:6

The objection of busyness

Whitefield knew the objection that would be raised: this will take too much time from business. His answer is that Abraham, David and Joshua were busier than any of his hearers, and yet they found time. Abraham ruled a great household; David ruled a kingdom; Joshua led a nation into its land. If they could lead their homes in the worship of God, so can a tradesman.

Five motives

He ends with five motives. Gratitude: God has given you a household, and you owe it to Him to lead it in His service. Love for your children: parents seldom forget their children’s bodies, but how rarely do they remember their souls? Justice: those who serve in your house give you their time and strength; you owe them care for their souls in return. Self-interest: godly children and honest servants are the fruit of a godly home. And the judgement to come, when every head of a household will give account of the souls entrusted to him.

One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity. 1 TIMOTHY 3:4

Where care is needed

Whitefield’s sermon assumes the household of his time, with a father as its governor and servants living under his roof. The principle transfers readily to homes of every shape: whoever leads a household, mother or father, single parent or grandparent, carries the same charge to teach, to pray and to guide.

But a harder word is needed. The servants of his day, above all in the American colonies, included enslaved people, and Whitefield speaks of the justice owed to servants who give their strength to their masters — while defending a system that took that strength by force. His counsel that masters should care for the souls of those who serve them is right as far as it goes, but it did not go nearly far enough. Care for a person’s soul that ignores his chains is not the love Christ commands. Chapter sixteen takes this up.

There is also a personal irony. Whitefield, who wrote so well about family religion, was rarely at home. His marriage was not a close one, and his only child died in infancy. He gave himself to the world and had little left for his own house. His sermon is sounder than his example, and it is fair to take the sermon and learn from the example too.

As for me and my house

Joshua made his resolution publicly, before the whole nation, whatever others chose. Whitefield’s plea is that every Christian household should do the same. It does not require eloquence, only faithfulness: an open Bible, a shared prayer, a patient answer to a child’s question. These small things, repeated for years, are how faith passes from one generation to the next.

For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment. GENESIS 18:19

FOR REFLECTION AND ACTION

1. If you lead a household, ask honestly which of Whitefield’s three roles — to instruct, to pray, to provide — you neglect most.

2. Begin, or renew, a simple practice of reading Scripture and praying together at home, even if only for a few minutes a day.

3. Ask whether you care as much for the souls of those in your house as for their comfort and success.

4. If you do not lead a household, pray for a family you know, and ask whether you could encourage them in this.

5. Guard against Whitefield’s own failure: do not let public service crowd out faithfulness at home.

A PRAYER

Lord God, as for me and my house, we will serve You. Make that resolution true in my home.

Teach me to read Your word with those I love, to pray with them and for them, and to guide them gently in Your ways.

Forgive me where I have cared for their bodies and neglected their souls, or served others and forgotten my own.

Let our home be a little church, where Your name is honoured and Your presence known. Amen.