Day 2 — When You’re Angry

“Be angry, yet do not sin; on your bed, search your heart and be still.”

— Psalm 4:4 (BSB)

Girls get angry too. Sometimes people act like anger is only a “boy thing,” or that good girls should never get mad. But that’s not true. Everybody feels angry sometimes.

Maybe your sister borrowed your favorite shirt without asking and got a stain on it. Maybe your friends made plans without you. Maybe a teacher blamed you for something you didn’t do. Maybe your parents said no, again.

David wrote today’s verse, and look at the first words: “Be angry, yet do not sin.” David didn’t say, “Never feel angry.” Anger itself isn’t always wrong. Sometimes anger is the right response, like when someone is being treated unfairly. The question is what you do with your anger.

Some girls let their anger explode: yelling, slamming doors, saying cruel things. Other girls let their anger go underground: giving the silent treatment, being secretly mean, getting even behind someone’s back, or holding a grudge for weeks. Both of those can hurt people, and both can hurt you.

David gives a better way: “on your bed, search your heart and be still.”

Search your heart. When you’re angry, take time to ask: Why am I really so upset? Was I actually wronged, or am I just not getting my way? Is there hurt underneath my anger? Often anger is covering up another feeling, like hurt, embarrassment or fear.

Be still. Don’t react right away. Take a break. Breathe. Pray. Cool down before you speak or act.

Then, once you’ve calmed down, you can deal with the problem in a good way: talking honestly and kindly to the person, asking for help from a grown-up, forgiving, or letting it go.

Anger that you bring to God can turn into something good, like standing up for what’s right or solving a problem. Anger that you let control you usually just makes things worse.

Think about it: When you’re angry, do you tend to explode or go underground? What’s usually underneath your anger?

Try this: The next time you feel angry, go somewhere quiet for a few minutes. Search your heart, be still and pray before you respond.

Dear God, sometimes I get angry. Help me not to sin in my anger. Help me search my heart and understand what I’m really feeling, and help me be still before I react. Show me how to handle my anger in a way that honors You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.